We Had Our Sex Dreams Analyzed by an Expertâ€"and It Got Deep

Decode your sex dreams
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Ever wake up mid-snooze feeling guilty about a sex dream that involved someone other than your S.O.? Feel free to admit it openly now, without an ounce of remorse, because it happens to just about everyone, says Kelly Sullivan Walden, author of The Love, Sex, and Relationship Dream Dictionary: Your Guide to Interpreting 1,000 Common Dreams and Symbols About Your Romantic Life.

But what about those really random (like, kinky random) dreams that leave you wondering if someone slipped mushrooms in your bedtime tea? Yeah, we wanted some insight into those.

Through anonymous entries (because we're professionals here at Womens Health!), we ponied up our wildest, weirdest dreams for Walden to analyze. Check 'em out to see if you can relate to any, because hey, #freetherapy.

"I was on a boat with my old boss. We had really intense, rough, passionate sex, but I've never looked at him in that way IRL."

Dream diagnosis: “Everyone in your dream is an aspect of you,” says Walden. Your dreams are just showing you the areas in your life you need to work on, she adds. Rather than feeling like you’re guilty of a major HR violation, focus on what the dream represents. Water symbolizes emotions and deep feelings, and the boat cruising means you’re on the surface of those feelings, says Walden.

Just like water isn’t really water, your boss isn’t really the dude who was signing your paychecks way back when. “A boss represents your inner authority,” says Walden. “Most of the time, if we have sex in a dream or are intimate in a dream, it’s not a literal thing like, ‘I have feelings for that person.’ It’s more about who the represent."

Here, you’re connecting deeply with the boss inside of you, which means you’re taking charge and moving toward success in real life—or you're getting there. 

 "I've never had a sex dream—at least not that I can remember! What does that mean? Is that bad?"

Dream diagnosis: You’re probably having sex dreams—we have three to nine big dreams a night—but you’re just not remembering them, says Walden. “Most people don’t remember their dreams because we’re distracted by the things going on in our actual life,” she says. Another reason not to worry: Our dreams hint at underlying issues. Not having them could be a good thing, signaling you’ve got things under control and don’t need dreams to help you figure it all out, says Walden. Go you! 

"I was watching Keeping Up with Kardashians while receiving oral from a guy in college, who looked like Zac Efron."

Dream diagnosis: Since everyone in the dream is you (sorry Zac Efron doppelganger!), this dream shows your masculine energy is servicing your feminine side, says Walden. Translation? You could benefit from adopting a go-get-‘em attitude. Since the vagina could symbolize feminine power and oral sex represents communication, “the energy of this dream could give you an amazing boost of confidence with your communication." In other words, express yourself, girlfriend.

"I forgot I was in a monogamous relationship, and I had sex with someone else."

Dream diagnosis: “Dream sex is the ultimate hall pass,” says Walden. “There’s no shame in it.” Although your sex dream could mean you have feelings for someone else or signify a rift in your relationship, it might be more valuable to look at the dream from the perspective that everyone in the dream, including the guy you're boning, is you, she says.

So in this case, what three adjectives would you use to describe this person in your dream? Let's say he’s strong, creative, and capable. The dream means you’re connecting with those parts of yourself. “Maybe you’re being put to the test in real life and need those qualities to give you extra leverage in whatever is going on,” she says.

Bank on the fact that dream cheating doesn’t mean you should drop your partner stat. Instead, your dream might be telling you the qualities you need to tap into to become more whole. Cool, right?

"I dreamt that I was hanging out with a close friend, and she started going down on me. I told her to stop because she was ruining our friendship, but she didn’t."

Dream diagnosis: The line between friends and lovers has been blurred, and it could indicate you’re in need of more femininity in your life. If you’ve been feeling stressed from an all-work-no-play lifestyle, consider this an excuse for a spa day with your girlfriends.

“We usually need some bonding, connecting, or doing something with feminine energy so we don’t burn out,” says Walden. If someone is really working their ass off, "a dream like this could be about restoring some of that feminine energy.” The fact that you’re resisting your friend could just be morality seeping into your dream world.

"People were chasing me around an empty warehouse. Then, I encountered my partner. He was naked and covered in really thick white paint. We had sex, and I was covered in the thick white paint, too."

Dream diagnosis: Dreams where you’re running from something are fairly common—and it’s easy to think you’re running from something because it’ll hurt you. Really, the opposite could be true, and whatever you’re running from could actually be trying to help you, says Walden.

Here, running around an empty warehouse might mean you could benefit from feeling more fulfilled. “A warehouse is usually where you store your resources, and if it’s empty, it feels like there’s some sort or transition or transformation happening,” she says. The transformation comes at the end. You’re covered in white paint in an attempt to look and appear more clean and innocent, says Walden.

Hmm, food for thought

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