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It is hard to find good information on Female Led Relationships online. Most websites show so many photos about men being treated like animals and women being so mean. Our FLR does not have any of that. Our FLR does not have kink at all.
My friend Casey told me about FLRs when a man she met online asked her if she knew about them. During her research she found so many websites about orgasm control and punishments that she was turned off and stopped speaking to him. I started doing my own online research and saw the same thing until I read something about Loving FLRs and it linked to this site. As I read the stories and advice I was excited. I told Casey about Loving FLR and we both agreed that it made sense. Not only did it make sense, I think I already have a Loving FLR with my husband and he doesn’t know it.
My husband and I have created our dream lives together. He’s a teacher. I am a business consultant. We live just outside of Montreal. I am 36 and he is 53. We met at a mutual friend’s birthday party and I thought he was kind when he offered me a ride home afterwards and did not make a move on me. He was patient with me as I disentangled myself from a messy divorce during that time. We were friends first but I saw traits that my ex husband didn’t have. Sometimes I think I married my ex husband just so that I would learn what to avoid in a real loving relationship.
We have been married for 2 years now and I have no complaints. He makes sure of that. He does a lot for me. He likes the little Gentleman type things like massages and telling me how beautiful I am every day. We pay bills together, but he pays more even though I earn more than he does. I don’t have total control over him. I don’t have to control his orgasms. I don’t keep tabs on where he is. He doesn’t have to ask me for permission for anything. He is his own man and that is what I like most about him.
He makes great decisions when he has to. Most of the time we take turns to decide what we want to eat and other decisions like where to vacation. He never makes me feel sad. He never argues with me when it’s really important to me. We hang out together more than we do with our other friends but we have separate social lives where I go out with Casey and other ladies from my networking groups when I can.
I pamper him just as much as he pampers me. I love cooking for him, running errands for him if he is tired and sometimes I give him massages. I enjoy doing those things for him and he always says he appreciates it.
The reason I believe I have a Loving FLR is when we have a big decision to make, I always have the final say. I don’t have to fight for it. I never have to argue. He will say what he has to say and then ask me what I want. When I tell him what I want he will think about it for a second and then he gives in. Sometimes I will sit there with a smirk on my face because I know he’s just pretending to consider my choice. He never says No to me.
I have never been much of a leader. I am a go with the flow type of woman. In my group of friends there are other women who are more bossy and try to take charge all of the time. I’m pretty relaxed with everyone. With him I don’t feel like I’m leading but from what I have read on this site I am. I am leading when it comes to the things that are important to me. When I don’t know what I want or what we should do, we talk it out, he presents options for me to make it easier for me to choose and then I choose. He goes along with whatever I decide.
It seems like having a Loving FLR is about the man’s decision to give the woman what she wants. If you have a partner who wants to argue or fight with you and doesn’t want to listen to you when you tell him that something is important to you then that’s not a Loving FLR. A Loving FLR, at least in my home, is when your partner wants you to be happy and does what he can to make sure that you are. My husband is like that. I didn’t have to train him or write out a contract or punish him. That’s who he is and I am so glad I found him.