Feb 5, My partner's children don't want to know me

I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now, one of the only reasons we get into arguments or discussions is almost always somehow due to his kids, he has 3 kids from a previous relationship

His kids are now in their teens, have their own opinions and are influenced by their mother (who they live with).

The kids have no interest in meeting me or allowing me into their lives or being part of our life. They judge me without even having met me. It is very hurtful and makes me feel powerless because I cannot force myself into their lives.

My partner feels torn between his kids and me. We are constantly planning our time and their time and trying to coordinate our schedules with theirs. But I technically have no influence since I am not part of the plans as far as it concerns them. 

I find myself constantly having to be the understanding one, the patient one and the one that puts my hopes and wishes on hold. 

Do you have any advice as to how to cope with teenagers that seem to go out of their way to make their dad's life difficult and unhappy due to his time constantly being divided and his nerves being tested?

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