8 Men Share the Things They Actually WANT You to Lie to Them About

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I’ve never really bought into the whole “honesty is the best policy” theory. Maybe this makes me a bad person, but I’ve always felt that it’s better to lie than to tell the truth in certain situations, like when the person being lied to will not be hurt in any way by said lie and he or she would not have gained anything beneficial by learning the truth. Ignorance really can be bliss.

I reached out to a bunch of guys to see if any of them feel the same way that I do about this matter, and I found that I’m not alone. Here are a few of the things they might actually want you to lie—or at least not tell the entire truth—about.

 
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“I don’t need to know the number of people a woman has slept with before I came into the picture. That’s the kind of thing that’s not going to do me any good at all because I’ll start wondering about the guys before and how I measure up with them. Or about how a woman’s experience quantifiably compares to mine. All I want to know is that she’s been tested recently and that I’m not in any danger of contracting an STD.” —Brett M.

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“Sometimes, it’s difficult to please a woman with a date you plan, especially if you don’t know her very well. If I’m trying my best and something about my plan falls short of her expectations, I’d still rather that she tell me she enjoyed it. At the beginning of a relationship or on a first date, I take every criticism pretty hard. I think it’s just the way I am. As I get to know her better, I’ll learn more about her likes and interests, and my date planning will improve. Then, once we get to a point where we’re comfortable with each other, she can tell me about how bad my first-date plan was and we can hopefully laugh about it. To be clear, however, I don’t want a girl to lie to me about having fun on a date if she didn’t. I’m just talking about the restaurant and venue—that sort of thing.” —P.J. T.

 
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“I assume at my age—32—that most women I end up dating have had significant relationships in the past. I bet there were great things about their exes because that’s obviously what makes a significant relationship. I don’t really want her to lie about how nice these relationships were, but I’m not very interested in hearing about it because then I’ll constantly feel pressure to measure up to the standards they’ve set.” —Tim M.

 
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“I’m more than happy to have a girl lie about or at least omit some details about what goes on in the bathroom. This might be immature, but I understand that women have periods and that they poop just as regularly as I do, but I don’t see a need to talk about it. It’s a quid pro quo thing, too. I’m not going to tell a woman I just took a gigantic sh*t, and I’ll try and cover my tracks with a whole lot of Febreeze.” —Jared T.

 
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“I hate when a girl tells me she hates one of my friends when she has just met him or her. After a while, it’s totally understandable if she’s like, ‘Frank seems like kind of a douche bag,’ but it’s unattractive if she passes judgment immediately, especially when it’s someone I’ve known much longer than I’ve known her. At first, I’d rather she just tell a little lie and say, ‘He seems nice,’ or something like that.” —Will M.

 
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“I’m the kind of idiot who asks girls about their ex-boyfriends and guys they’ve been with. It’s masochistic, really. If I ask, they’re going to assume I want them to be honest, but if they are and they tell me about some guy who had a huge d*ck or was an expert lover, it’s gonna hurt. I prefer she avoid the details or downplay them and just tell me the things she likes in bed. I don’t want to know how she found out she likes these things…” —Brian N.

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“If I come home from a hard day at work and start complaining about something, it’s to commiserate. I’m sure that a lot of the time I tell the story and my wife can immediately tell that I’m the one who was in the wrong, but I’d prefer she just lie and take my side. It makes me feel better.” —Spencer T.

RELATED: Why Guys Are Such Babies When They Get Sick

 
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“I once dated a girl who, immediately after meeting my family for the first time, made a bunch of negative remarks about them. I know my family isn’t perfect. I grew up with the people. I know all their strange quirks and their downsides—and the ones I haven’t noticed, I don’t really want to notice. I’d have preferred if she lied to me about the first meeting. It’s different once they’re becoming your in-laws or if I want you to come spend a week at the beach with us, but first meetings between families and significant others are usually weird to begin with. You’ve got to give these things time!” —Scott G.

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