8 Men Divulge the Times Their Boners Ruined High School

1/10 ,

It can be tough for a guy to hide it when he’s sexually aroused, especially when he’s first learning how to deal with constant boners. I should know—I spent a lot of time in my adolescent and teenage years trying to conceal erections. Sometimes, I got away with it. Other times, I didn’t. And I’m not alone. Most guys have a least one embarrassing boner story from their high-school years. Here, eight brave souls share some of theirs.

2/10 ,

“We went on a trip to Antietam when I was in seventh grade. On the five-hour ride home, I was sitting next to a girl I was in love with, although we were just friends at the time. We cuddled a little bit while watching the movie they were showing on the tiny charter bus screens—I think it might have been Juwanna Man—and at some point, we both fell asleep. When I woke up, I probably jerked around or something, which awoke the girl, whose groggy eyes almost immediately saw the erection pushing against my boot-cut jeans. Actually, they might have been JNCOs. It was a long time ago. Anyway, I think my boner may have scared her. We drifted apart after that, at least until college, when we had sex a few times.” —Jay B.

3/10 ,
Gym Class Zero

“I was in gym class, a class I still think should be split up between boys and girls because it’s really hard to focus on dodgeball when you’re an adolescent looking at girls wearing very short shorts. One day during gym class, I got a boner, and I tucked it up into the waistband of my basketball shorts and boxer briefs. But then I had to run around, and it fell out. There were giggles from several girls and all of the boys, and I was promptly hit with a ball right in the boner.” —Scott M.

4/10 ,
Shut Up and Dance

“At a homecoming or some other kind of semi-formal, I slow-danced with the girl who was my crush at the time. I popped a boner, and when she pulled me closer, probably to tell me that she really valued me as a friend, it poked her—so she stopped talking mid-sentence. She reacted stoically and never brought it up to me in person. But I think she told all her friends because they sure brought it up very often.” —Mark P.

5/10 ,
This Guy's Really Bad at Dances, Huh?

“I was at a formal dance with my girlfriend, and for some reason that eludes me now, we ended up switching partners so that I was dancing with my best friend’s date...who happened to be a total smoke show. I popped a boner while I was dancing with her, and she felt it and giggled. Thankfully, she never brought it up again. At least I don’t think she did because my friend would have either punched me, made fun of me about it forever, or both.” —Mark P., again

6/10 ,
A Hard Time

“I was sleeping over at my friend’s, and I came out to the kitchen in the early-morning hours to get some water. I had poured my water and shut the fridge, only to turn around and face my friend’s mom, glass of water in-hand and boner poking freely out of the unbuttoned flap of my boxers. I had no idea my little guy was in this state until friend’s mom’s gaze shifted to it, at which point I looked down and, mortified, gazed back up at friend’s mom. ‘Trouble sleeping?’ she asked. ‘Thirsty,’ I said, walking past her. I hadn’t tucked my d*ck in because that would be some sort of admission that I knew what was going on. I still wonder to this day if I could have parlayed it into some sort of sexual experience you always see in porn. God, that would’ve been amazing.” —Ryan C.

7/10 ,

“I’d had my first kiss that day. It was all I could think about. Even after football practice, when I was in the showers with 10 other adolescent boys. You can’t conceal an erection when you’re naked in a shower. And when you’re with a bunch of homophobic jocks, they don’t forget about something like that.” —Michael H.

8/10 ,
Amazing Graze

“I was getting my teeth cleaned. The dental hygienist’s boob grazed, like, my shoulder, and that was that. I’m not sure if she ever actually saw it, but I could feel myself turn beet red. It must be cool to have that kind of power, where just by grazing someone with a part of your body, you can make them lose it.” —Andrew Y.

9/10 ,
Good Vibrations

“I was at a buddy’s camp for the weekend, and we were riding quads [four-wheelers]. I was on the back of one while his older sister was driving. Something about all the bumping around and friction and my arms being around her from behind…Yeah, I popped a chub, and she definitely felt it. It was embarrassing at the time, but we snuck away to fool around later that night, so it turned out more than all right.” —Ian N.

10/10 ,
Bored Stiff

“My parents would make me go to church on Sundays, which was the worst, except for the fact that the girls and women who went would dress up really nicely. At the time, I tried to feel badly about having sex thoughts in a place like that, but I’ve since made peace with it. You can’t control your hormones, especially at that age. But one morning during mass, I had nodded off, as I occasionally did, and when my mom shook me awake, I stood up immediately without realizing that I had a boner. She scolded me under her breath but never brought it up afterward.” —Philip M.

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