7 Masterpieces – Humorous Marriage Advice for Newlyweds

Humorous Marriage Advice for Newlyweds

‘Marriages are all about two people loving each other unconditionally,’ we often hear people giving this advice to newly wedded couples. It’s so hilarious how people make it sound so easy peasy but here’s the reality check: IT IS NOT.

Marriage is much more than having that perfect date under the stars with a Valentino bag and Jimmy Choo heels or that oh-so-perfect honeymoon in the clear blue waters of Maldives. You need to make the words compromising and patience your two best friends as they will help you deal with situations you never ever thought would come your way.

So, you not only have to get that gorgeous bridal dress or ensure the decoration is aesthetic but also buckle up for the roller coaster ride that you have decided to ride on!

We feel for all of you out there, so we have some humorous marriage advice for newlyweds that will ensure you two are able to bear each other for a lifetime.

1. Want to make your wife happy – Can’t

Our very simple advice on this is: you can’t. It’s absolutely impossible to make women completely happy but well you can try. We would like to tell all the boys out there that harmony in marriage is attained by accepting that there are two sides in a marriage one is always correct and the other one is sadly the husband.

2. Please don’t try to change your husband

Our next humorous marriage advice for newlyweds is that if you are marrying a man to make him ‘a better man’ then you should stop right away. This is not going to happen, and the only thing that you will get while doing this is the disappointment. You should fall for him, love him and eventually marry him for who he is as a person.

If you wish to completely transform his real self then what’s the point of this commitment? Think about it.

3. Please don’t expect your wife not to change

As soon as you slide that ring on your wife’s finger, a switch is turned on in her body that evokes a sense of maturity, perfection and an undying urge of being always right in her. These emotions are going to last forever, and you need to comply with this. Trust us and don’t even dare to change it, please take this humorous marriage advice for newlyweds very seriously.

Please don’t expect your wife not to change

4. For God’s sake stop reading romantic novels

You need to stop falling in love with those perfect human beings in the romantic novels; it’s not going to happen! He isn’t going to be that man. This is the real world and here perfectly combed gelled back hair, Lamborghini, six packs, love, care and Tiffany rings doesn’t happen all together. You need to deal with different kinds of disgusting behavior on a daily basis.

5. Boys, please keep your eyes down

I’m extremely sorry to give this humorous marriage advice to all the newlyweds but boys it is over; you cannot check out girls anymore. Don’t even dare to notice a girl especially for the first few months because if you do, we are not responsible for what happens to you next!

6. Don’t forget your toilet etiquettes

Some handy advice for all the girls out there: please don’t enter the toilet for at least fifteen or twenty minutes after your husband has used (abused) it. We can guarantee you that you will rush out in tears and disgust. And for the boys out there remember to flush when you are done if you want to save yourself from an hour-long lecture on basic manners and then another long hour of making thing right just remember to flush and yes one more thing the toilet seat is supposed to go down when you are done. Never forget.

7. How to tell the time

One of the most important humorous marriage advice for newlyweds is that never believe the time when your better half tells you. He will never be home at 11 pm when he is at a night out with his friends, and she will never get dressed in an hour even if she swears by it. So be prepared for these unexpected encounters.

Nail it with the humorous advice and live happily ever after

We really hope this humorous marriage advice for newlyweds will be helpful for all the people out there reading this piece. Another extremely important thing is to remember that there’s beauty in imperfection. And there’s nothing more beautiful than growing together.

So rather than molding and changing everything you don’t like about your other half; try to love him or her for who they are because that is what will take the both of you a long, long way and make your marriage a very happy one indeed. Good luck!

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