13 Women Share the Hilarious Thoughts That Went Through Their Heads the First Time They Saw a Penis

As a dude who sees his own penis several times a day—in both erect and flaccid form—I can confirm that peens are very strange looking. The secret is out.

And whenever you see something weird for the first time, like an erect penis staring you in the face, it's impossible to say how you'll react. To this day, I’m still surprised I didn’t start maniacally laughing and pass out the first time I laid eyes on a vagina IRL.

RELATED: Exactly What Happens When a Guy “Breaks” His Penis, According to an M.D.

That's why you'll probably relate to these 13 women sharing what went through their minds the first time they ever saw a P:

"The thing that stood out the most was that there were many veins. It looked like a person’s arm after they lifted weights."—Kathryn H.

"My first thought was, 'The hole is, like, looking at me. It looks kind of like a pupil or something.' It was like a third eye." —Annie R.


"'That is extremely funny looking and not at all like what I have,' was my first thought. I’ve gotten used to seeing dicks by now, but I still think they’re funny looking, because they are." —Beth T.

"Don’t get me wrong, vaginas are weird too, but I hadn’t really thought too much about it until I saw my first penis. I was like, 'What is going on here? Why can’t these look better?'" —Neha P.


"I thought, 'Dear god, what did I get myself into?' I was totally unprepared and probably crinkled my nose a little in confusion. It was like a giant worm monster." —Elizabeth D.

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"I’d touched my boyfriend’s dick a few times before this, but when I actually saw it, I was grossed out. I thought, 'I cannot believe I’m about to put this thing in my mouth.' And I put it in my mouth anyway."—Carly R.

"I thought, 'Nobody ever told me it would be purple on the end. Interesting.' I thought it was all just one shade." —Ashley K.


"You can’t really have a good look at a cock without also seeing testicles, and testicles are the weirdest looking things in the world. The first thing that popped into my head was, 'Balls are so effing weird.' Then I wondered, 'Why are they on the outside?'" —Emily H.

"The first time I saw a penis, I realized the old 'one-eyed snake' description was totally true. Occasionally, the site of a peen still makes this phrase cross my mind." —Allison B.

RELATED: The 4 Most Dangerous Sex Positions for His Penis

"I was honestly shocked. When I touched it, I was surprised how soft the skin was. I guess all that lotion they use really helps. Ha." —Meghan D.

"I was drunk the first time I saw a penis, so I was stoic about it. When it made its appearance I was like, 'So this is what it’s all about, huh?' I wasn’t impressed or excited. I was just like, whatever." —Alyssa A.


"The penises I’d seen before had been in porn and were usually erect, so when the guy I was with wasn't, I thought, 'Shouldn't it be bigger than this?'" —Heather S.

"I’d been shaving my pubic hair since I started to grow it, and I assumed guys did it, too. So when the full bush came out, I was like, 'Wait. I thought that everybody shaved?'" —Samara

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