Why didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t the skeleton cross the road? Because he didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have the guts.
Chances are you didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t laugh at that joke. Because honestly, itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not that funny. But if I told it to you in personÃ¢â‚¬”lame as it isÃ¢â‚¬”I bet youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d give me a little chuckle. Because as all polite people know, sometimes we fake it to make others happy.
Case in point: In a recent Australian study, 23 percent of men admitted to faking orgasms. OK, yes, I know. Faking an orgasm is different than faking laughter. But stillÃ¢â‚¬”23 percent?
When people force a chuckle, theyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re doing it out of courtesy. When they fake orgasms (at least when men do), itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s likely because they donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want you to think anythingÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s wrongÃ¢â‚¬”with you or them. ThereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s some courtesy in that motivation, but thereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s also a lot of potential embarrassment.
For the record, let me explain something: Despite what teen comedies may suggest, sometimes men just arenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t in the mood. Or sometimes they are in the mood butÃ¢â‚¬”due to extenuating circumstancesÃ¢â‚¬”they still canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t cross the finish line. They could be too drunk, too nervous, too bloated, too stressed, or any one of 10 million other things.
Even if you do everything right, there still may be times when a guy doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have an orgasm. And thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s all right. Just because he didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t blow it doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t mean you did. But what do you do if you suspect him of faking the Big O?
Unless youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re truly offended or itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a consistent problem, donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t call him outÃ¢â‚¬”at least not in the moment. YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll just embarrass him, and heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll probably deny it, anyway, which will be awkward. Later, maybe the next day, start an open conversation about sex. Ask what he likes and doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t like, what his favorite position is, and if thereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s anything new he wants to try. The more comfortable the two of you are talking about sex, the less likely heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll find himself in a situation where heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s tempted to fake it.
And even if it does become obvious during a later rendezvous that heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not getting off, just stop, cuddle up to him, and say something sweet. If he happens to follow with a joke, laughÃ¢â‚¬”even if itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not funny. HeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll understand.