What It's Like To Be An Overthinker In A Relationship

Sometimes, in love, you have to shut down the thoughts in your mind, and just feel the feelings. That's what relationships are really about – the excitement, the thrill, the longing, the desire, the hope, the fears... the FEELINGS. But, those of us who have an overactive mind, and are cursed into overthinking, have a hard time being on this plane of functioning.

We don't feel in love. We think in love!

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We think about every little thing you say, and don't say, do and don't do. Even though we may not want to talk to you all the time, and totally understand your need for space, the time we spend not being in touch with you, we fill it with all sorts of catastrophic thoughts. We imagine you internally dissing us. We convince ourselves that you have lost interest. We then conclude that you were never quite as interested in us as you said you were, and that you have already moved on to someone else.

If you stick around and prove to us that you are invested in us, we then start wondering if you are with us for love or convenience or appearances or some other motive that we are not in on. We have a hard time taking things at face value, and an even harder time accepting that we ARE indeed loveable.

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If you convince us that we are worthy of your love, and that you are in it for love, we still don't stop overthinking. Except now, when the bubble finally breaks, and you establish that you care, and we believe that you care, we think – all the time, awake, asleep, during coffee breaks and in between meals – about all the wonderful things that a lifetime together with you will bring us. We think about every little detail of the magical wedding we will have, even if you may not have gone down on one knee yet. We think about all the wonderful vacations we will take together, everything from fancy cruises to backpacking weekend trips, from watching the Northern lights together in eskimos to catching a midnight bus to the closest hill station. We think about what it would be like to carry or raise your baby, whose hair will she have and whose eyes. We think about how entertaining we will be as an old couple, still in love, still strong... We think about EVERYTHING - the stuff that happens, and the stuff that doesn't.

We do this because we fear so deeply that we will not be loved back! But, most of all, because we love deeply, too, and can't contain it. 

Picture Credits: Pexels, WallpaperSite
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