We already use technology to track how much we eat, run, and sleepÃ¢â‚¬”but would you use an app to log your orgasms, too? Apparently, some people do. A new app called Spreadsheets lets you track your activity in the bedroom, and over 12,000 people have already downloaded it.
Like most of the other self-monitoring apps, Spreadsheets keeps a record of your, ahem, performance. First you select your mattress-type (which helps the app calculate your movements, since sex is bouncier on a waterbed than on memory foam), then you place your phone on the bed and press start. The app keeps track of the duration of sex, the number of thrusts, and even the decibel of your moaning.
And if you need some incentive to spice up your sex life, you can even unlock achievement badges for crossing off new sexual activities, like getting it on in the morning or keeping it going for 40 minutes or longer.
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As crazy as it sounds, Spreadsheets isn't the only app looking to track your bedroom behaviors. There's also Sexulator, a "sex calculator" that graphs how often you're getting it on, and SexTrack, which measures how much you rock the bed to estimate how many calories you've burned. (Spoiler alert: Sadly, sex doesn't burn as many calories as you think).
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So should you bring apps into the bedroom? On one hand, a sex tracker could motivate you to keep things hot the same way your fitness tracker holds you accountable for your workouts. But it could also be an unnecessary distractionÃ¢â‚¬”not to mention a mood killer if your phone goes flying off the bed mid-romp.
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Tell us: Would you use a sex app? Or do you prefer to totally unplug in the bedroom? Talk back in the comments below.