His wits swept you off your feet and you couldn't wait to see the moves he has reserved for you in the bedroom. Wait, it wasn't good? It's probably not him, it could be the setting. So you get that done right. But no amount of soft music, sexy lighting or kinky lingerie did anything to change the situation. Before you decide to take the now-is-the-time-I-dump-him step, give these three simple moves a try.
Move 1: 30-minute foreplay
Quickies are not for you two, at least not as of now. Have you spent time knowing just what gets him to moan and twist his fingers in your hair in pleasure? Does he know what makes you arch your back and gasp deeply? The next time things get hot and heavy, instead of simply yanking off your bottoms, make it a rule to spend 30 minutes exploring each other's bodies. You may not need to light the candles for added heat.
Move 2: E is for experiment
You have been seeing each other for a while and do know what gets the other ticking in bed. And that is the issue. Sex has become almost boring for you *gasp* What's the big, wild world of experimenting in the bedroom for then? Role plays, kinks, sex toys—the possibilities of shaking things up between the sheets are endless. That sex position you thought looked stupid and never to be tried could soon become your favourite, rekindling that dying passion.
Move 3: Talk, talk, then do
Losing interest midway, not able to orgasm, you feel he is being selfish in bed... the only way to get through these is by talking it out with your partner. Do not get all accusatory—that is no recipe for good sex. But do communicate exactly what you want in bed and what you both could do to get it right. You must have realised by now that mind-reading is not a skill freely gifted.
Move 4: Initiate intimacy
Don’t be shy, now. Sex is much better when there are no inhibitions or awkwardness. So what if you’re the one who has to get things going? Get dressed in your sexiest and get ready to seduce your partner. Tell him what you want and give him a glimpse of what’s waiting with a teasing touch or a lingering kiss.
Move 5: Give each other a rubdown
Sometimes, things just don’t work out in the bedroom. Many a times, you or your partner may be tired, upset about something, or just plain bored. In such cases, you could try giving each other a soothing massage. It doesn’t even have to be elaborate; a spur-of-the-moment back rub can work wonders too. Not only will it help your partner relax, but it may also make way for more wayward things.
—With inputs from Nikita Sawant