Is there a better place to make bad decisions than at your company holiday party? We think not. You might just get drunk enough to buy your boss a shot or go way beyond that and give your boss a shot—in bed. And while, yes, the latter makes for an awkward morning meeting, it also makes a hell of a story. And isn't that what New Year's resolutions are for anyway?
We asked seven women to confess their most memorable office party hookups because they should totally get bragging rights. Check 'em out:
"A coworker and I needed a place to make out after polishing off a bottle of wine together. So we headed to my car in the parking lot. Just as things started getting interesting, the police showed up and didn't drive away until we stumbled back into our office building. Once they were out of sight, we went back to my car and finished what we'd started." —Willow F.
"My boss had a thing for ugly Christmas sweaters, so at his last holiday party, we all showed up wearing the most hideous sweaters we could find. At the time, a coworker and I were having a secret fling, and we got our freak on just before the boss's wife called us together for a staff photo. We all received a copy of the pic the following week, and everyone looked great—except for me and the guy I'd slept with. Thanks to the static from tearing off our sweaters—and, you know, having sex on them—we both looked like we'd stuck our fingers in a light socket." —Cassidy G.
"We got our freak on just before the boss's wife called us together for a staff photo."
"I had a serious crush on the new guy at work and decided to take action at our staff Christmas party. When he went to the bathroom, I noticed his blazer draped over a chair. I slipped a sexy note in his coat pocket, telling him to meet me in my office for a little bow chicka bow wow. Only, as it turned out, it wasn't his blazer. Instead, Ted from accounting walks into my office, acting as if he had a winning lottery ticket in his hand. Long story short: Ted and I are married now." —Tia B.
"Because our office walls are all glass, the only place my colleague and I could get frisky was in the downstairs copy room. And get frisky, we did. Well, right up until his thrusts got so aggressive that we broke the only copier. Thanks to my random fling, now we have to use key cards to access the room." —Theresa M.
"His thrusts got so aggressive that we broke the only copier."
"I'm not the biggest fan of holiday parties, so I usually only stay for an hour. But one year, I was on my way out the door when I bumped into the hottest guy I'd ever seen. He insisted I stay for another drink, so obviously, I stayed for three drinks. One thing led to another, and we had sex on my office windowsill. The following Monday, my boss asked everyone to stop what they were doing so he could introduce us to the new intern. Our new intern was the hottie I'd straddled in my office not even two days earlier. Awkward." —Melanie J.
"My bestie and coworker set me up with one of her boyfriend's buddies so that I wouldn't feel like a third wheel at the Christmas party. We hit it off, got sloppy drunk, and started making out in the coatroom. And then things got ugly. He tried to use dirty talk, but he was so wasted it came out as one long word. Then he sucked on my bottom lip as he attempted to shove his p into my v—with no success. To top it off, he let out a silent-but-deadly fart, and when I started to gag from the smell, he actually tried blaming it on me and stormed out!" —Gwen L.
"My coworker and I had a secret fling and agreed that 'what happens at work stays at work.' But when we had sex in the bathroom stall at the last Christmas party, he slipped and dislocated his shoulder. When we were waiting in the emergency room, he told me that I owed him a date because of his injury. We've been seeing each other publicly ever since." —Lori P.