The Hidden Meaning Behind His Words

Fact: Women want love, men want sex.

His retort: "Wait, there's a difference?"
Hidden meaning: He'll call it love if you promise to try the "Wheelbarrow."

Fact: Men like to impress with big words.

His retort: "That's absolutely risible!"
Hidden meaning: He likes to impress with obscure little words, too.

Fact: Women feel pain more than men.

His retort: "Yep. And they won't let you forget it"
Hidden meaning: Unlike a woman, he has never had to pass anything the size of a melon.

Fact: Women have lower sex drives than men.

His retort: "Hmmph -- tell me about it!"
Hidden meaning: He actually doesn't want you to tell -- he wants you to show.

Fact: Women are constitutionally better able than men to handle stress.

His retort: "Is that really in the Constitution?"
Hidden meaning: Consider your right to bear arms, since this guy will really try your patience.

Fact: Women's peripheral vision is better than men's.

His retort: "So if that's true, how come you never see my side of the story?"
Hidden meaning: If it's fine for you to splurge on Prada, he shouldn't catch hell for QT with Madden NFL 08.

Fact: Men feel like failures if they're not right.

His retort: Silence
Hidden meaning: He doesn't think he's done anything wrong -- nor can he recall the day, year, or decade in which he screwed up. But he does know you haven't forgiven him for something.

Fact: The larger a man's testicles, relative to body size, the more promiscuous he'll be.

His retort: "Relative to whose body size?"
Hidden meaning: If he pretends you're a size four, maybe you can pretend he's enough man for you.

Fact: Women like men more when men admit they're wrong.

His retort: "You're absolutely right. I've noticed that!"
Hidden meaning: He'll admit to almost anything to get into your pants.

Fact: The more testosterone a man has, the less he smiles.

His retort: "That's crap! I smile all the time."
Hidden meaning: He has an inflated ego -- and capped teeth.
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