Not every woman wants to be a sexual wildcat every single night. But it is incredibly pleasurable to take over the reins and ride him hard. If you’re the shy and reserved kind, letting go of your inhibitions and letting your inner sex goddess loose may prove to be just a tad bit difficult. There are simple ways to tackle these inhibitors and turn into the sexy vixen you truly are.
Step 1: Love yourself
Often, the reason you’re uncomfortable taking charge in bed or letting your guard down is that you're insecure about your body, which affects your behaviour during sex. So rather than taking the helm and having him writhing in ecstasy and awe of your sexual prowess, you might be scrambling to switch off the lights so you can have so-so sex in the dark. A good psychological exercise for this is to look at your naked reflection in the mirror and indulge in positive self-talk. Say things like ‘I have a beautiful body’ and ‘I love myself’. Ask your partner to shower you with compliments. The feel-good factor of a compliment goes a long way towards building your self-confidence.
Step 2: Be emotionally intimate
This means you need to let yourself be vulnerable with him. Once you let your guard down and allow yourself to be vulnerable, you’ll begin to shed the inhibiting shackles that prevented your inner siren from taking over. Take a step towards emotional intimacy by talking to him about your fears or finally saying ‘I love you’.
Step 3: Don’t be afraid
Maybe you haven’t had an honest-to-goodness orgasm yet. Maybe you feel awkward during sex. Or maybe you feel guilty about getting down and dirty because that’s not what a ‘good’ girl would or should do. It’s important to understand that there’s nothing perverse about sex. And that dirty is good. Tell him what you want him to do to you. Don’t be afraid to ask for clitoral stimulation to help you climax. And don’t stop yourself from following your sexual instincts.
Step 4: Initiate
The biggest turn on for a guy is when a woman initiates sex. Take control of the entire enterprise and let your imagination go into overdrive. Boldly go where you haven’t been before and you’re sure to knock his socks off—and your own!
Step 5: Experiment
Do not hesitate to attempt some new moves in the bedroom. You could read up about them online and start with something simple but satisfying. Once you've gained confidence, you could move on to more elaborate positions or even role play.
Step 6: Dress for it
Take the time out to decide on what you are wearing that night. If you aren't willing to go bold, try to experiment with fabrics such as silk. Just ensure that you are comfortable in what you are wearing.