Any kind of orgasm is pretty awesome, but without a doubt, the pinnacle of peaking is the simultaneous Big O, or Wegasm, to borrow a term coined by the condom connoisseurs at Durex. Sex can be spectacular no matter who blasts off first, but there's good reason to try for the somewhat elusive synchronized O: According to a recent study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, concurrent climaxes during intercourse are associated with stronger relationships, more sizzling sex lives, and a happier outlook on life. "Plus, physically and emotionally, there may be a momentary loss of individual boundaries, a sense of truly becoming one with the other," explains study author Stuart Brody, Ph.D.
A deeper understanding of how everything can click at once may be all you really need to experience a synced-up grand finale. But there's no need to shoot for the moon every single timeÃ¢â‚¬”even the occasional Wegasm will have you seeing stars.
Get a Head Start
If you expect to have an orgasm, you heighten the chances of it happening, according to research from the Sexual Psychophysiology Lab at the University of Texas at Austin. And this applies to the synchronized climax too. "Expectations play a huge role in sexual outcomes," says Tierney Lorenz, a researcher and doctoral student at the university. "By paying attention to your erotic cuesÃ¢â‚¬”the little things that turn you on, be it a song, a fragrance, a memoryÃ¢â‚¬”in the hours before, you both can prep yourselves for an even more pleasurable time in bed."
Sync Up: Start cueing each other before you get to the bedroom by flirting and connecting, says Rachel Abrams, M.D., coauthor of The Multi Orgasmic Couple. Hot-text each other at work to hatch sexy plots for later. Steal a few minutes to think about him during the day. "A woman's orgasm begins in her head. Her thoughts and feelings of desire send signals to her hormones, which in turn increase blood flow to her vulva, making her more sensitive and ready for sex," says Abrams. But once you're ready to rumble, beware of mood-busting distractions that can kill your mutual mojo, like a buzzing BlackBerry or nagging body-confidence issues. Keep both sets of eyes on the shared coital prize.
Reach the Plateau
Most guys are good to go in just a matter of minutes.
"Men are like light switches, while women are more like complex control boards," explains Diana Hoppe, M.D., author of Healthy Sex Drive, Healthy You: What Your Libido Reveals About Your Life. Put another way: You may need more timeÃ¢â‚¬”and foreplayÃ¢â‚¬”to reach the preorgasmic phase called the plateau, the heightened time of pleasure that precedes climax.
Sync Up: To dovetail your ascents, you need to be touched and teased, while your guy needs to stay relaxed. "He should focus on getting you into a high state of arousalÃ¢â‚¬”while not getting much stimulation himselfÃ¢â‚¬”then coming rapidly to attention when you're ready for him," says Lorenz.
"That increases the chance that you'll both be highly excited at the same time." Your clitoris is engorging in preparation for the oncoming orgasm, so the more excited you become, the more sensitive your nether regions will be to his touch. When you're ready for more focused stimulation, guide his hands and mouth from your neck, back, and thighs toward your places of most intense interest, says Amy Cooper, Ph.D, author of The Everything Orgasm Book: The All-You-Need Guide to the Most Satisfying Sex You'll Ever Have. In the meantime, to help build his excitementÃ¢â‚¬”without causing him to boil overÃ¢â‚¬”gently stroke his buttocks and the inside of his thighs, and whisper in his ear.
When you're amply hot and bothered, get into positions that encourage clitoral stimulation, which most women need to climax, says Abrams. "For example, if he enters you from behind, the sensations are intense for both of you. He can penetrate deeply, and this position makes manual stimulation of your clitoris easier too." Another strategic move to try: the "coital alignment technique," otherwise known as CAT, a variation of the tried-and-true missionary position in which your guy shifts his weight forward and you wrap your legs tightly around him, keeping them relatively straight. You'll press upward as he gently rocks backward, allowing you to grind against him and maximize that fabulous C-spot friction.
Stop and G-O
To stay on the same track, it might be necessary for your guy to slow down as things start to heat up. He may need to pump the brakes, because a major part of the synchronized orgasm is getting him to hold off until you're right at the brink.
Sync Up: The "shallow and deep" technique can prolong and delay the big bang. Shallow thrusts stimulate the sensitive area around your clitorisÃ¢â‚¬”and downshift his arousalÃ¢â‚¬”while deeper thrusts stimulate the head of his penis and the lengths of your pleasure zone.
"To stay with you, your guy can do some deep breathing or slow down his thrusts to buy himself some more time," says Cooper. If he can divert his thoughts to something other than his arousal, this can also keep him on pace. For example, he can concentrate on how the muscles in his legs feel.
When you're both ready for the Big O, tell each other. Words sometimes speak louder than actions. And once you've harnessed a little mutual harmony, you'll be clamoring for a repeat performance.