"My Front Tooth Came Out in Front of My Ex's Family!" And 7 Other Hilarious Confessions

Allie Holloway

1. “I am a pro Insta stalker. After I found my potential BF’s ex’s account, I ‘investigated’ her all the way to the beginning. Later when I returned to her page, I was so embarrassed once I saw a posted screenshot featuring all the notifications from my spree. A glitch had caused my phone to Like every picture as I scrolled down her feed. She thinks I’m a fan.” — Stevie M., 22

2. “I was visiting Poland and walked around Kraków for the day. Back at my hostel, I stood up, and a hostel-mate sitting behind me said, ‘Your trousers are ripped.’ I have no clue how long I had a rip in the middle of my pants! I hope my coat covered the free show!” — Sammy Jo S., 27

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3. "I went to the doctor to check a wart on my finger. When the derm walked in, she put her hand out, and I assumed she wanted to look, so I stuck my hand out, like royals do. She took my hand and chuckled. I realized she wanted to shake my hand, not look at my wart, and I died." — Sarah S., 24

4. “In my freshman year, I got an extension on my English paper and pulled an all-nighter to complete it. I was super proud of my paper, ‘50 Shades of Hamlet,’ so when I e-mailed my teacher, I wrote ‘Thanks for the extension! I know you’ll enjoy this!’ Less than five minutes later, I got a reply from my teacher saying ‘We need to have a talk. In person. ASAP.’ Turns out, I’d accidentally sent a pdf of the book Fifty Shades of Grey instead of my essay!” — Angela B., 23

Allie Holloway


Celeb Confession

5. “My family visited me on-set. Michael Keaton was there and asked, ‘How old’s your sister?’ I said, ‘I don’t have a sister – he’s my brother.’ I didn’t realize he was implying that my mum looked young. I had thought my brother was pretty enough to be my sister. It didn’t go over well. My brother was upset, and so was my mum!” — Tom Holland, Spider-Man: Homecoming

6. “I’ve had years of braces and surgeries to get my teeth near-perfect. When I was 16, I went camping with my now-ex and his family. Over dinner, they offered me an ear of corn. Without thinking, I bit right into the cob. I felt a crunch and pulled the corn away from my mouth, and embedded in it was my front tooth! I was mortified.” — Erica M., 23

7. “After four years of dating, my boyfriend let me drive his car. I had to document it and put it on my Snapchat Story. When I got home, he told me I shouldn’t Snap and drive. I lied and said I was at a stoplight ... not realizing the speedometer clocked me at 40 mph. I was caught, and he shamed me on social media!” — Casey M., 25

Allie Holloway

8. "I was on vacation with friends in Florida and stayed in an Airbnb. I had to be up early to catch my flight but remembered I had some stuff in my friend’s room. I thought I’d just sneak in and grab my things since she was sleeping. When I opened the door, she was in bed with a guy, but I needed my stuff, so I ran in and said, ‘Keep doing what you’re doing. I’ll be quick, no worries.’ I then got my things and scurried out so fast.” — Aspenne R., 22

This article was originally published as "Confessions" in the February 2018 issue of Cosmopolitan. Click here to subscribe to the digital edition.

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