Is There Really Such a Thing as Getting Married Too Soon?

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Apparently, the summer of breakups may be running over into fall: Big Bang Theory star Kaley Cuoco recently filed for divorce from her husband, Ryan Sweeting.

 

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According to divorce docs obtained by People on Monday, Kaley listed “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for the split, which she says happened on September 3. Kaley and Ryan met just three months before getting hitched on Decembver 31, 2013, and were only married for 21 months.

 

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Sure, experts don’t exactly advise marrying someone you’ve only known for three months, but how much does the length of time you dated before getting hitched actually matter? We asked real married women to weigh in.

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“I think most of it, at least for us, was less about getting to know each other better and more that we went through stages of life where we were changing so quickly—we went through college together and were long-distance before we finally lived in the same city. When we got married, it was an ‘eyes wide open’ kind of scenario. We were realistic about what might change, what wouldn’t change, and what the challenges and wonderful things would be—so there were no real surprises.” —Lin G.

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"I think our first year of marriage would have been more harmonious had we waited longer, but in the long run, I’m not sure it makes a difference.” —Julie M.

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“We were ‘older’ when we first started dating—we were both 30—so I think that may have impacted our marriage/relationship more so than how long we dated. But I can say that I truly believe that a combination of our ages and the duration of our dating phase had a positive effect on our marriage. We both really knew what we wanted out of a relationship, and we were more confident in ourselves and our abilities. We were focused on what we wanted our futures to look like, and I can personally say that at that point I was very aware of what I wanted out of a husband and what I could offer, as well. I also believe that the duration of our dating phase allowed me to see my husband in many different life stages Because of that, I confidently knew that I'd found my life partner.” —Lynnette W.

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“It was great for us because the honeymoon period had worn off years before, and we understood the reality of what a long-term relationship was going to be like. We had already been living and acting as though we were married, so we didn’t enter into the marriage with any false expectations.” —Laura P.

 

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"I was 16 and he was 18 when we started dating—we basically grew up together. We also lived together for one year before we got married, which helped us a lot with learning to live with each other before it was too late.” —Mindy S.

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"Our families kind of freaked out at the time, but we brushed them off. We have a great marriage and have never really had any big issues, but I think we got lucky.” —Lindsay W.

8/10

"We learned, grew, and changed into adults together. It was great marrying someone who knows everything about you and is your best friend.” —Jessica R.

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“We did live together pretty quickly once we started dating, but I think in our case it was all a good thing. We were best friends, and by the time we got married, we knew pretty much everything about each other. We’re still best friends today, so I guess it worked for us!” —Katie P.

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“We really knew each other when we finally did. There were no surprises. We knew we wanted to be together for life. We had already been through so much by the time we got married—we lived a few different places, changed jobs, moved to a new city, and bought and renovated a house. Getting married has only made our relationship stronger.” —Jessica L.

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