This article was written by Tom Miller and repurposed by our partners at YourTango.
Ever wish there was a Zagat's Guide to the best bathrooms to have sex in? Until that happens, your best course of action is to get in, get it on, and get out of the stall while following these no-fail rules.
Here's a very quick guide to getting lewd in the loo:
1. Ladies, wear a skirt. Easy access. Need we say more?
2. Depart for the bathroom at separate times. Throw everyone off your trail!
3. Leave as much stuff at the table as possible. All that clutter—especially the iPhone—is just going to get in the way.
4. Try to use a handicap stall. Maybe it's despicable to hog a stall from someone who actually needs it, especially for selfish needs. On the other hand, those rails can come in handy...
5. Clean up as best you can. Seriously, be a solid citizen. You might also want to give yourself a once or twice over to eliminate the evidence.
6. Keep it simple. A beautiful young actor named Josh Hartnett (remember him?) was once rumored to have a mÃƒÂ©nage a trois in a skeevy New York City bathroom stall. The event is spoken of with reverence, but us regular people should probably just stick to the basics.
7. Most importantly: Have fun. Sure, you may get kicked out of the hotel, bar, or restaurant-type place, but it was probably worth it.