Just like men, penises come in all shapes and sizes. Odds are you’ve seen junk at both ends of the spectrum, though it's a wee bit more intimidating to come face-to-face with a big weiner than a small one.
Sure, getting down with an oversized peen can be some women's jackpot, but for others...not so much. How will it fit?
“During the course of their sexual lives, most women will encounter a male partner whom they consider well-endowed,” says certified sex therapist Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D. So what qualifies as "well-endowed"? According to a 2013 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the average erect penis is 5.6 inches, so we'd reckon anything over that. (Fun fact: About 15 percent of men have a penis over seven inches and three percent have one over eight inches.)
Having sex with a larger-than-average penis can be painful, create anxiety and stress, and even cause vaginal tearing, says Van Kirk. But, with all of that said, it doesn't have to ruin sex. New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First, says your vagina might be more up for the task than you’d think. “Generally, the vagina can accommodate a larger than average penis,” he says. However, you do have to be more careful.
Came across a whopper? Here’s how to proceed:
Acknowledge the (Huge) Elephant in the Room
Don’t make it a major issue—Van Kirk says you don’t want to embarrass the guy since he may already be sensitive about his size—but it’s a good idea to be upfront and honest. Kerner recommends saying something like, “Wow, that’s a big penis. Let’s take it slow”…and then moving on.
Take the Lead
It’s hard to know how your va-jay will handle his size, says Van Kirk, so it’s important for you to set the pace. “Until you get used to the sensation and know how your body will respond to his larger penis, take it slow,” she advises.
Break Out the Lube
You’re probably going to need it, so “be willing to reach for the lube and keep it coming,” says Kerner. (Sidenote: lube = better sex, always.) Thicker lubes are better in this situation because they won't be absorbed as quickly, says Van Kirk.
Go Wild with Foreplay
While lube will help you get wet, foreplay can help you get a better read on his penis size and allow you to get even more aroused in the process. That makes it easier to take it all in later. “Work your way up,” says Van Kirk. “Sexy time prior to penetration with his penis should include fingers or possibly a sex toy.”
Try Side-by-Side Sex
Not only can you help control the rhythm in this position, you can also hold his penis, insert it, and control it like a sex toy, says Kerner. If he’s getting too deep, for example, increase how much of his length that you’re gripping to minimize what’s going into you.
…And Girl on Top
Any move that allows you to a) take the lead and b) keep him pretty still are ideal, says Kerner.
…And Standing Positions
If your dude has a longer penis, you might actually find standing sex hotter since it's easier to get into and maintain, says Van Kirk.
Avoid Doggy Style
If his penis is on the long side, certain positions, like doggy style, can lead to deeper penetration, which may cause his penis to hit your cervix (and that doesn’t always feel great—though it can.), says Van Kirk. If you want a doing-it-from-behind kind of vibe, she recommends reverse cowgirl so you can still control the rhythm.
Keep Your Expectations in Check
While you might assume that sex with a big guy will lead to crazy-wild orgasms, that’s…not neccessarily the case. “Sometimes men with big penises think that's all they need to be a gratifying lover, but a big penis doesn't guarantee more orgasms,” says Kerner.
Got all that? Now go get it, girl.