How Watching Gay Porn Can Make Your Straight Relationship Hotter

gay porn sex life
1/6 Alyssa Zolna

We all know that watching porn can add some serious spice to sexy time—whether you're going solo or performing a duet—but there are also moments when it's not very helpful. A lot of porn is shot from the dude's perspective, so between the lack of foreplay and overabundance of jackhammering, it's enough to make any vagina fall asleep—which is where gay porn can really come in handy.

"Gay porn depicts sex outside of a heterosexual, males-do-this and females-do-that context," says Carol Queen, Ph.D., staff sexologist for Good Vibrations. Besides the fact that many women find the whole girl-on-girl thing to be a huge turn-on, watching gay porn can help women think outside the box (pun totally intended) and inspire them to experiment in the bedroom. Here's how.

gay porn sex life
2/6 Alyssa Zolna

There's a sensuality to lesbian porn that can bring out a woman's erotic side, says board-certified clinical sexologist Debra Laino. There's a give-and-take (not to mention a generous amount of foreplay), and the heightened connection during girl-on-girl can be used as a jumping off point in your own relationship.

gay porn sex life
3/6 Alyssa Zolna

Lesbian porn can feel less threatening (and, let's face it, insulting) than straight porn, says certified sex therapist Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D. "When a woman doesn't feel like she has to 'compete' with how a female porn star looks or acts during guy on girl sex, it can give her more freedom to be who she is without expectation and actually enjoy herself," she says.

This can open your mind to new discoveries about your turn-ons—and watching girl-on-girl with your guy can help clue him in to more of your needs. "Very often, men will say that lesbian porn showed them how women really wanted to have sex," says Van Kirk. More specifically, lady-to-lady action taught them how to be more intimate and slow down, she says.

gay porn sex life
4/6 Alyssa Zolna

As for guy-on-guy porn, it's basically V.I.P. access to what turns men on. "Male bodies have way more erogenous zones than just the penis," says Queen. Gay porn shows men enjoying anal and nipple stimulation, cock and ball play, the occasional sex toy, and many other ways of exploring a dude's body you don't see in hetero porn, she says. And let's not forget the wide array of oral and hand job skills that will be on display—you may want to take notes.

gay porn sex life
5/6 Alyssa Zolna

Lesbian porn is super-arousing for women—not just because most women aren't 100 percent straight, but because watching girl-on-girl when you're straight is...well, naughty, says Van Kirk. This rush of excitement could lead to taking more risks in the bedroom IRL.

On the flipside: Guy-on-guy porn is usually more aggressive with a bit of sensuality, says Laino. So taking a page from the guy gay porn might help get you and your man to get wild. It's like going paleo—in bed. "Getting into that core sexual self can spice things up." Grrr, baby.

gay porn sex life
6/6 alyssa Zolna

The biggest thing women can learn from guy-on-guy porn is a sense of power: "Men often don't need lots of chit-chat or wooing when it comes to initiating sex," says Van Kirk. Many women find that this kind of porn encourages them to get in the driver's seat and take their men, she says.

And since being on the receiving end of pleasure—as opposed to being in control—isn't the way many straight men understand sex, that power swap can be a huge turn-on for both of you, says Queen. Be aggressive. B-E aggressive.

"Couples may want to watch both lesbian and gay porn together to see what may work in their sexual relationship," says Laino. "When couples remain sexually curious, they have a much better chance of having spicy sex." Now go play.

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