When you’ve been with your S.O. for ages, they probably know everything from your must-watch TV shows to your poo schedule. But the one thing they might actually be totally clueless about is how often you like to get busy.
According to a new series of studies published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology, guys in LTRs tend to underestimate how often their partners want sex. They’re also more likely to think we’re not in the mood at times when they’re not in the mood. Hmm…funny how that works.
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For the study, scientists recruited 48 heterosexual couples that were either married or living together. The couples were asked to fill out a 10-minute survey every night for 21 days. The questionnaire assessed their own horniness and how much they thought their partner wanted to get it on. Researchers also asked the participants to report how sexually satisfied they were in their relationship, as well as how often they knocked boots.
While you’d think that underestimating your partner's libido would lead to a crappy sex life, that's not the case. Researchers found that dudes who were the worst at tapping into their partners' horniness levels had wives and girlfriends who were satisfied with their sex lives and relationships as a whole.
Um, what? Researchers say it’s probably because thinking that your partner isn’t in the mood makes you more likely to try to get them in the mood, which keeps both of you from being complacent in your sex life. (Also, side note: Life is good when you're not being nagged for sex all the freakin' time.)
But scientists say you shouldn’t start playing hard to get in hopes of a better sex life. Instead, letting your S.O. know when you’re in the mood makes both of you feel more satisfied and committed to your relationship. And, when that happens, everybody wins.