Apparently, your heart isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t the only thing affected by absence from your partner: Couples who spend at least one night apart each month have sex more frequently than couples who donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t, according to a recent survey out of the United Kingdom.
For the survey, Blue Rainbow Aparthotels, a short-term apartment rental service in the U.K., asked more than 2,000 couples how many nights they spend apart each month and how often they have sex. Turns out, couples who spend one or two nights apart each month reported getting busy nearly twice as much as couples who donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t.
While the company conducting the survey obviously had a vested interest in the results (itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a hotel alternative after all), it makes sense that spending time away from your S.O. can help reignite your lust for your partner, says relationship expert Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., host of the upcoming PBS TV specialÃ‚Â Secrets of the Love Doctor (airing nationally November 30), who was not involved in the survey.
When you start a new relationship, three things fuel that crazy-infatuated feeling: newness, mystery, and arousal. But as a long-term relationship develops, companionate love increases while passion decreases, says Orbuch. Time apartÃ¢â‚¬”in which youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re experiencing a new city, meeting new people, and then seeing each other anewÃ¢â‚¬”adds those three passion triggers back into the relationship.
ThereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s another thing at play here, too, says Orbuch. "Space and time for self are very important for partners,Ã¢â‚¬Â she says. They make you stronger and more confident as an individual, which in turn makes the relationship happier and more stable. It also helps build trust to spend some time apart.
Not a regular business tripper? You can still get the advantages of spending time away from your partner, says Orbuch. Ã¢â‚¬Å“The big things are shaking things up a little bit and having time for self and space,Ã¢â‚¬Â she says. That can mean going out with friends, hanging out with your family, or even taking a cooking or language class without your partner.
Then get back together and get ready to reap the (very hot) results.
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