A letter to... Prince Harry

Dear Prince Harry,

After nearly two years of transatlantic romance, you and Meghan Markle are taking the next significant step in your relationship and moving in together. A Nottingham Cottage at Kensington Palace is being zhuzhed for this very purpose. Let us offer our congratulations — and a little advice. Trust us, this stuff is hard-won gold-dust…


1. Shower etiquette

If you exit the shower reeking of her Ren Moroccan Rose shower gel, you have erred. Ditto her shampoo (yes, it’s totally possible to pay £35 for a bottle of shampoo) and her moisturiser (you just slapped a bit on because you sniffed it and it smelt good? Well done. You’re now wearing £15 worth of cream and have incurred her wrath). Repeat after us: 'what’s yours is mine' does not apply to beauty products.

2. Separate bathrooms

We could be wrong here, but we’re thinking that the dream of 'his and her' bathrooms can be a reality when ‘home’ is a wing of a palace. Do it (and don’t even think about sneaking in and “borrowing” her La Prairie).

3. Dishwasher etiquette

Lay it out right now: which way up is cutlery stacked? Tines and blades facing up or down? Bowls top or bottom? Saucepans in or out? On such points are some relationships broken. Do not despair if you never reach total agreement. There are couples who have cohabited for years who have yet to reach armistice.

4. Sex

Right now you’re in what we call the honeymoon period. You have snatched weekends which are heady and romantic and full of thoughtful gestures and take-me-now-because-I’m-on-the-plane-to-L.A.-tomorrow sex. Yeah, that won’t happen when you see each other Every. Single. Day. And that’s fine, cosy companionship is great, too.

5. On that note…

You know how now you say ‘we’ve only got a weekend together, let’s not argue about the little things’? You’re going to argue about the little things. Sorry, but there it is. Such is co-habitational life.

6. And also…

You’ve probably yet to see her slobbing on the sofa in her oldest pjs/tracksuit, spot cream on her face, eating cereal from the box. Mind you, she probably hasn’t seen you do it either. Welcome to reality.

7. Domestic admin

Do not expect Meghan to know how to use appliances because she’s a woman. Make sure you both know how to — and take turns - use the washing machine/iron a shirt/clean the loo. (For when the staff have the day off…) This said, putting out the bins is always your job.

8. Loo roll

You will mysteriously need much more of it. Probably twice as much as is required by a person living alone. It’s just the way it is. Deal with it and snap up those bumper packs of 12. Don’t discuss it. Nothing kills romance like talking about loo roll (or, indeed, using the loo whilst the other person is in the shower. We’re pretty sure that your accommodation will have more than one bathroom so you’ll never be faced with the ‘it’s an emergency so I have to bust in (or it out)’ situation.)

9. Don’t eat dinner in front the TV every night

Keep the art of conversation alive. Okay, so not every night will involve a candlelit supper for two, but do try. (Hint: you’ll have more of point 4 this way.)

10. Social media

Try not to sit next to each other on the sofa, ostensibly watching Netflix, whilst actually scrolling through social media and sniggering at other people’s Facebook witticisms. Not all the time, anyway.

11. Your own lives

Respect each other’s need for time alone — and apart.

12. Work out your Netflix compatibility

Are you a binge-watcher or into delayed gratification? If you are on opposing teams, this is flashpoint for argument. Sneakily watching ahead when the other one is out is tantamount to betrayal.

13. Ikea

Designed to test your relationship to its limit.

14. Tidiness/ cleanliness

You will have different standards. It’s just the way it is. (And we don’t mean the tidy one is always the woman.) Get a cleaner. An army of staff works, too.

15. Taste

That shelf full of sporting trophies. Your collection of genius fancy dress ensembles. Those charming artefacts you picked up abroad. You might find they start disappearing. One day you’ll do a double take and notice that your collection of Beano annuals is no longer on full display. This happens.

16. Cushions

Not just for sitting on. They look pretty. Yes, you really do need another one. (In matters of decoration, compromise is key. You’ll probably have an argument over pattern/colour at some juncture.)

17. Deliveries

It’s best not to keep track or betray astonishment when there’s another ASOS/ Net-a-Porter/ Topshop delivery. This way, when you have an excess-baggage-sized Mr Porter delivery, no eyebrows will be raised. (This feeds into the bigger issue of picking your battles.)

18. Be honest

From the start. About money, bills, chores, bugbears, what drives you crazy about each other (in good and bad ways). Saves trouble later. And don’t compare yourself to other couples. What works for Will and Kate may not work for you.

Love from,
The GLAMOUR team

Now go forth enjoy your co-habitation (and keep your hands off that shampoo).


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