It’s kind of crazy that even after millions of years of human evolution (and thousands of hours of Hugh Grant rom-coms), we still haven't figured how to read each other’s minds. It seems especially unfair considering that all we really want to do is make each other (and okay, ourselves) happy. And yet, we sometimes keep the most important information locked away, where only we can access it.

So what if we all agreed to speak up a little more? Chances are we’d all be happier in the long run. After all, guys want to know exactly what you want, starting with these nine things right here.

Some people (both women and men) tend to hide their feelings until they boil over into passive-aggressive anger. And sometimes the person we tend to take it out on the most is our significant other. But unless you’re dating David Blaine, it’s unreasonable to assume that your dude knows that you're peeved because he keeps leaving dirty dishes in the living room. Tell him, and be prepared to work out a solution.

Here are three ways to let a guy know you want more tongue action:

1. Tell him while you’re in bed: “I want you to go down on me, now."

2. Tell him while you’re not in bed: “I love it when you go down on me. You should do that more!”

3. Wait until he does go down on you, and then rub your hands through his hair, moan with delight, and let him know how great it was afterward. In other words, shower him with positive reinforcement. 

“I want whatever you want,” he says.
“Well, I want what you want,” you reply.
“Okay, I want tacos.”
“Actually, I don’t feel like tacos. Let's have Thai.”

DAMNIT.

If he’s at your place, he’s your guest. So it’s easier for you to ask him to stay the night than it is for him to beg for permission. If you don’t want him to leave, let him know. That way you can get to the fun part faster. 

Say you’re meeting up with some old friends from high school. It’s only polite for you to invite your boyfriend to come along, right? But then it gets awkward: Do you really want him to go? Like, really? Because if it’s just a casual invite, say so. Listening to you and your old pals reminisce might not be that fun for him.

That said, if you’re actually trying to get him to know those old high school friends, you can say that, too. Just let the dude know if this is important or if he can stay home and order tacos.

Is it time for your first sleepover? Have you decided you’re ready to be exclusive? Are you prepared to start using the L-word? When the timing’s right, you know it. And there’s no reason to be coy about what you want. Let him know. And if it turns out he needs time to process a potential new phase in your love life, be prepared to give it to him. 

When you’re in a relationship, your guy has already decided that you’re the woman he needs to attract. That doesn’t mean you get to dress him up like a Ken doll, but if you feel your stomach lurch when he debuts his new buckskin vest, tell him. Knowing you’re attracted to him makes him feel confident, and confidence is the sexiest accessory, right?

Just because he got his first doesn’t mean you don’t deserve yours. So grab his hand and put it where it needs to be. He’ll figure out what needs to be done. 

Rare is the man who knows what to look for in jewelry. So as soon as the topic of marriage comes up, odds are he’s already panicking about the ring. What color? What metal? Why does the diamond come with half a carrot? Vegetables are great and all, but it seems odd.

So rather than stress him out and end up stuck with something you don’t like, wait until the next time marriage comes up, and casually say, “If you ever need help picking out a ring, I can tell you what I like.” I’m willing to bet he takes you up on the offer.