Life is hard...but at least there's sex to lighten the load. Aren't orgasms just the best? Thing is, rarely is love-making represented in movies the way it goes down in reality (as anyone who's come in contact with semen can attest to). Sex feels great, but it's messy, and sometimes, downright un-sexy.
Out of pure curiosity, I asked nine men and women to share the ew-iest aspects of getting busy. Here's what they had to say:
“Queefing can be funny if you and the person you’re with are comfortable enough to laugh about it—but that’s the best case scenario. Otherwise it’s just awkward for everyone. Though a queef has never killed my boner, I've never heard a queef and felt more aroused afterward.” —Jay C.
“Dirty talk, when done wrong, is not hot at all. Usually it just ends up turning into strange questions that you shouldn’t have to answer. For example, ‘Do you like that throbbing cock inside of you?’ I always say, ‘Yep.’ But then I think, ‘Duh, of course I do, or else this wouldn't be happening right now.’” —Brenda F.
“Semen is not sexy at all. In fact, it’s gross. It tastes bad and—even if it’s not going in your mouth—it feels disgusting when it lands anywhere else except inside a condom.” —Amanda F.
"I've never heard a queef and felt more aroused afterward."
“Though they are a necessary evil, condoms are most definitely un-sexy in pretty much every way. There’s no seductive way to pause things while you open a pack and put one on. And they smell really weird, which just adds to all the weird smells that already come with sex.” —Hannah O.
“I don’t like the noises that come with sex. You know, that moistened sound of friction and suction that you can’t not hear. It's not attractive at all." —Emma V.
“In most of my experiences getting undressed is one of the least hot parts of doing it—especially when socks are involved. There is no sexy way to take socks off, but if you leave your socks on for sex, that also isn’t sexy.” —Garrett M.
“The sweatiness that comes with doing the horizontal mambo is the worst. I once had to stop sex at a particularly hot moment because my boyfriend’s sweat dripped off his forehead and went directly into my eyeball. It stung a lot.” —Bethany P.
"Getting undressed is one of the least hot parts of doing it—especially when socks are involved."
“Nobody makes a sexy orgasm face. It’s usually more like a grimace.” —Stacy S.
“Ah, the part of the sheet that gets sticky and wet during sex really grosses me out. Sometimes I cuddle up really close to someone after sex so that I don't have to lie in that mess all night. (It gets cold after a while, too. Yuck.)” —Jim M.