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1 year ago
8 Things We Do on Our Periodsâ€"That We Have No Shame Admitting To

Once a month our bodies like to remind us that we can make babies. Yes, it’s a privilege, but it can also be a slight inconvenience, to put it gently. To not put it gently: Every 27 to 30 days, many of us are in HELL. We’ve all got different ways of dealing with our periods, but there are certainly some universal go-to behaviors. We’ve compiled a list of 8 things we often do during our monthly bleeds—that we have no shame admitting to.

1. Eating Everything
There is never enough salt and sugar available when Aunt Flo’s in town. And you have no issue saying things like “Aunt Flo’s in town” when taking down a tub of Talenti gelato while your significant other/office mate/the cable guy looks on with horror.

Period Food

2 Getting Really Creative with Paper Products
You aren’t really tough until you’ve had to jerry-rig a maxi pad out of a wad of toilet paper (or paper towels if you’re really desperate). Everyone just prays this drastic set of circumstances doesn’t occur on a day when they’re wearing a skirt or dress without tights, or worse, a thong. If a lady is walking suspiciously slow down a busy street, it’s a dead giveaway: Girl’s got Charmin stuffed in her underpants.

3. Crying Tears of Joy
Then you do a full on touchdown zone-worthy happy dance because you are not with child. It seems counterintuitive to get excited about bleeding, but when you weren’t gunning to conceive a fetus this month, it’s truly a therapeutic release to bust out those Tampax Pearls with gusto.

Period Girl

4. Announcing You’ve Got It
When we need a tampon, we will go to great lengths to acquire it, even if that means marching right into the office of Becky from Accounting, to whom you’ve never previously spoken, to see if she’s got product on her person.

5. Going for the Granny Panties
Yup, we’ve all got underwear designated for the ole’ menstrual cycle. There is no shame in that game—what’s the sense in ruining every pair of undies with bloodstains when you can instead sacrifice a few brave fullback Hanes to endure the inevitable menstrual party every four weeks? Of course, you could always step up your period panty game with a pair of Thinx.

Panties

6. Avoiding the Gym/Moving at All
You’re bloated, bleeding, and more than likely, a little weepy. The treadmill would be on par with a torture chamber. Even though exercise might lift the mood, you can’t bring yourself to lift your body weight. You hunker down on the sofa until you’ve at least transitioned to a light flow tampon. You’re not some sort of Olympian for God’s sake.

7. Wondering, “Am I Crazy?”
It never fails, you know that it’s PMS or your period in full swing causing you to violently sob at the sight of a puppy or the shoulder brush of a stranger who says “excuse me” a little too harshly, but that doesn’t stop you from thinking you’re having a meltdown. When your emotions finally even out, you have the reoccurring revelation that you are indeed a levelheaded woman whose hormones got the best of her. Then the whole scene repeats itself next month. Ah, the ability to bear children, such a weird gift!

Period Girl

8. Two Words: Fetal Position
Under the desk at your office, on the floor of your bathroom—even a park bench will have to suffice sometimes. When severe cramps hit, you’re suddenly able to perfectly replicate the position you maintained for nine months in your mother’s womb. For the women blessed with pain-free periods, be grateful you get to avoid going through cases of Midol and/or always knowing the latest in heating pad technology.

All animations created and/or downloaded via giphy.com

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