Breakups suck no matter which way you slice it. If you’ve been together for a while, there’s the whole division of assets thing. And, oh yeah, #feelings. But it also opens the door for breakup sex.
Knocking boots right after you call it quits gets a bad rap, but experts say when you do it right (literally), it can actually provide closure.
"Breakup sex can help you process emotions and give you the time and connection to separate from your ex in a more compassionate way,” says certified sex therapist Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D. “You may not make great long-term partners," she says. "But that doesn't mean you can't still appreciate the physical connection you shared." Plus, it’s hot.
Of course, it’s risky business (again, #feelings), so board-certified clinical sexologist Debra Laino, Ph.D., stresses that you need to make it clear this is breakup sex, not makeup sex. She recommends saying something like, “Do you just want to have sex one more time, no strings attached?” If he’s down, you can have one last go and then part ways feeling good about your last encounter.
But if you find that you’re actually not 100 percent sure that you want to break up or know that you’ll be tempted to keep sleeping with him, do not pass go. “If we could just get a little comfort from the intimacy and then move on with our new life, that would be one thing,” says relationship psychologist Karin Anderson, Ph.D. “But for most of us, sex keeps us bonded to someone who isn't going to be part of our future—that's just hurtful.”
If you've weighed the pros and cons and still feel like you want to go there, we fully support that. Here, eight reasons why breakup sex is awesome. #YOLO
1. It’s F%^&ing Hot
You don’t care how you come across, and he doesn’t either—it’s pure, uninhibited animal sex. Grrr, baby.
2. It’s All About You
Well, to you, at least. He’s just trying to get his rocks off, too. That move you know he loves and you hate? Feel free to skip that for now...and possibly for the rest of your life.
3. Your Needs = Met
You might not have sex again for a few weeks or longer, so it’s a good idea to get an O in before you hit a dry spell. That's just being practical.
4. You Don’t Give a Sh*t
Get a weird muffin top situation when you’re on top? Who the hell cares? It’s not like you’re trying to impress him.
5. You End On a High Note
You could remember your last time together as being filled with fighting and tears…or you could look back and think about how hot that last orgasm together was. Your choice.
6. You've Got 99 Problems, But He Ain't One
When you don't have to stress about his freaking socks on the couch anymore, you can spend more time focusing on your super-hot quickie.
7. You Can Vent Your Emotional Frustration Via Boning
It's no kickboxing class, but grinding out your annoyance can be satisfying on so many levels.
8. There's No Cleanup
Make the plans for breakup sex at his place, and there's no a single sheet for you to wash. Booya.
All gifs courtesy of giphy.com.