There's a pretty big gap between so-so sex and a spectacular hookup. But it actually doesn't take much effort to turn a less-than-thrilling roll in the hay into a mind-blowing, bed-squeaking sex sesh as soon as you feel it getting lame.
Many women assume it’s a lost cause when the sex starts to get boring and just go through the motions, says Sadie Allison, Ph.D., founder of TickleKitty.com and author of Ride ‘Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking. “But it's definitely possible to initiate change in the middle of sex," she says. "In fact, taking control is a turn-on in and of itself."
Here, she offers seven ways you can transform a sack session gone wrong—whether it's with your S.O. or a booty call—and finish strong. Who doesn't love a comeback?
1. Make Eye Contact
It's not going to be weird; trust us. Locking eyes is one of the most effective ways to instantly boost lust. “Looking at each other deepens your emotional connection, which, in turn, amplifies your arousal,” says Allison. Aim to stare into each other’s eyes for a minimum of 60 seconds or throughout the entire tryst. Yes, this can feel intense, but stick with it. “The longer you go, the more bonded you’ll feel,” she says.
2. Play “Tease and Wait”
Roll him onto his back, straddle him, and say, “I’m making the rules now, so you’d better listen up.” Then tell him that he's not allowed to orgasm until you say he can and the same rule applies to you. Then, play with each other's erogenous zones (see: nipples, inner thighs, neck) until you can barely stand it. “Getting close to orgasm without a release builds sexual tension,” says Allison. So when you finally explode—you can expect fireworks.
3. Get Up Close and Personal
For ultra-intimate sex, prop pillows against the headboard, have him sit up with his back against it, and straddle him. “You can hold each other and make out while you sex it up, she says. “All that skin-to-skin contact will make you feel closer and heat things up fast."
4. Change Up Your Location
Stop what you’re doing, and lead him to the kitchen counter, living room couch, bathroom sink, staircase, wherever—just outside the bedroom. “The change of scenery is exciting, and it feels a little freaky to be getting it on somewhere besides a bed,” says Allison. Plus, the fact that he’s doing exactly what you say and checking out your naked body as you take him where you want him is a turn-on, she says.
5. Amp Up Your Senses
Grab one of your scarves or his tie, and take turns blindfolding each other. “When you remove one sense, the rest are enhanced,” says Allison. Translation: Every touch will feel even more potent. You can also play some sexy music on your phone and pop your headphones in his ears. “He’ll be rocking out in his own world while making love to you,” says Allison. Then have him pick tunes for you.
6. Get Handsy
Use your digits to slowly suck and lick your fingers while looking right in his eyes. “Then add in some gentle moans,” says Allison. To take it a step further, trail your fingers from your lips, over your breasts and abs, and down to your V-zone. “Use one hand to hold your labia open and the other to stroke yourself,” says Allison.
7. Slip and Slide
Never underestimate the transformative power of lube. “It’s not just for women with dryness—it can lead to hotter, longer sex for anyone,” says Allison. By reducing friction and heightening sensation, he can slide along your nerve endings more quickly, leading to extra stimulation, she says. When you apply it, treat yourself to a sultry below-the-belt massage.
8. Try a No-Fail Foreplay Move
Roll him onto his back, and assume the 69 position. “This move is always an exciting surprise—especially if you haven’t done it in a while,” says Allison.