Who doesn’t love a good Sex and the City marathon? The series is timeless. But sometimes, it’s also really freaking unrealistic. Don't get us wrong, we treasure our SATC fangirl status, but we’d just like to set the record straight on some boldfaced fibs the Carrie Bradshaw squad led us to believe.
Here we go:
1. A small penis is a total deal breaker. In the world of Samantha Jones and the gang, a tiny D is worse than halitosis or a felony. But in reality, it's not necessarily a game changer. We’re all special snowflakes, and we’ve all got our preferences. In fact, some might say a smaller package is…
2. You'll get dumped for dirty talk. The worst thing a guy might do if he doesn’t appreciate a line like “You love it when I put my finger in your ass” (we’re looking at you, Miranda Hobbs) is awkwardly chuckle, or politely correct you on his preferences later on. He’s certainly not going to kick you out of bed. There are way worse things someone could suggest putting near certain orifices.
3. Blowing the delivery guy is a viable option. It’s Tuesday, the UPS guy is here with his regular 3 p.m. delivery, and you’re in a giving mood. So he drops trou and…wait, what?! Sober, in the middle of a workday? Probs not IRL.
4. Vibrator interventions are a thing. If our friends busted into our apartment to confiscate a sex toy we’d been using, we’d probably sever the friendship because that’s a just a little too close (and creepy) for comfort. Props to Charlotte York for giving The Rabbit such great press though. (Spice up your solo sex sesh with one of these babies from the Women's Health Boutique.)
5. Boning strangers is always instantly awesome. It seems like the one-night stands on SATC are always frequent, smooth sailing, and mind-blowing. How often does that really happen in real life? Most one-nighters are drunken, sloppy sh*t shows, yet somehow Samantha J. is always having the orgasm of her life in every single random sex scene. How does she do it? Oh yeah, it’s because she’s not real.
6. There are hot, available men around every street corner. Carrie and her crew never seemed to run out of men to bone. Either these women know something we don’t, or…this is a television show that has a really unrealistic portrayal of how easy it is to acquire attractive, DTF sexual partners at any given moment in New York City.
7. Farting in bed with a dude is a death sentence. When Carrie, a grown-ass woman in her thirties, farts in bed with Mr. Big, a dude she’d been dating for a while, she dramatically jumps up and hides herself in sheets, acting as if she’s a teenager ready to be branded with the nickname Gassy Carrie until the end of time. If this happens in real life, you ignore that shit, laugh with the guy, or just thank your lucky stars it didn’t happen when he was going down on you.
8. Women talk loudly about every detail of their sex lives in public forums on the reg. Rubber nipples, tea bagging, big dicks, faking it, ass eating…no topic is off limits at the diner, at the bar, in yoga class, and at the highest volume possible. Sure, close gal pals talk about their sexual encounters—but most of us know how to keep a lid on it when we’re trying on shoes at Macy’s.
All gifs coutesy of giphy.com.