So much for fiction: Most erotic romance novel writers base steamy sex scenes on action they've experienced in real life, according to a recent survey conducted by The Fussy Librarian.
The e-book recommendation site polled 103 writers about their sex lives, and the results are pretty juicy: Three out of four of the authors said that they draw inspiration for racy sex scenes from actual trysts they've had, and 46 percent say they have sex for research purposes. What's more, 41 percent say they've tried BDSM.
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Clearly, romance novelists don't just talk the talkÃ¢â‚¬”they also walk the walk. So we asked two to share their best sex tips with us.
Turn Items You Already Own into Sex Toys
Kim Carmichael, author of Trifecta and Permanent, encourages anyone who was turned on by Fifty Shades of Grey to pick up some sex toys and accessories. But that doesn't have to mean visiting a sex shop or shelling out tons of cash. "If you don't want to go out and buy that kind of stuff, there are a lot of things around the house that will work, too," says Carmichael. Grab a silk tie for some light bondage or a candle for a little hot wax temperature play. (If you have any old Halloween costumes laying around, you should definitely check out these costume accessories that double as sex toys.)
Get Inspired By Movies
Sabrina Lacey, author of the Hearts Series, recommends watching 9 1/2 Weeks with your partner for adventurous new bedroom ideas (you'll never look at an ice cube the same way again)Ã¢â‚¬”although any movie with steamy sex scenes can help motivate you try fresh moves between the sheets.
Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Or Romance Novels
Carmichael says she will actually read the sex scenes from her own novel to her husband to fire up their lust sometimes. "When my husband wants me to talk dirty, I can't think of anything to sayÃ¢â‚¬”so I finally took to reading to him out of what I wrote," she says. "That works amazingly. Ã¢â‚¬Â¦ If turns you on, it will definitely turn on your partner." If you're a little on the shy side, this can be way less intimidating than coming up with your own dirty monologue.
You know how in erotic novels, one person in a couple is almost always the dominant one? Many couples also fall into (sometimes subtle) dominant-submissive patterns in their sexual relationships. But to spice things up, swap roles for a night. "It gives the less-dominant one the power, and I think they might find that the power is a turn-on," says Carmichael. "Plus, for the person who's not in control, sometimes being [dominated] can be exciting."
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Lacey says she has a penchant for public sexÃ¢â‚¬”and cars are one of her favorite places to get frisky. And think about it: There's a reason that sex in public is pretty much a mainstay in romance novelsÃ¢â‚¬”it's hot. Just pull onto the side of a dark, not-too-busy road, push back one of the seats as far as it will go, and have fun steaming up the windows. (If this is too much for you, getting busy in the car while it's still in the garage can also be thrilling and much less riskyÃ¢â‚¬”as long as the car is off.)
Try the Taboo
Finally, Lacey has one big tip: "If you think, 'I really want to, but I shouldn't,' then you should. Stop thinking, and just go." After all, the women in erotic novels always end up giving in to their desiresÃ¢â‚¬”and it typically leads to an intensely sexy plot twist.
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