So you're a woman who likes penises. But you've also had the occasional fantasy about what it would be like to hook up with a lady, especially if that lady is Blake Lively.
Well, as you might have heard, you're in good company. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that girl-on-girl action turns on lots of women who identify as straight. (FYI: Blake wasn't factored into the research). In fact, all of the participants who watched lesbian porn for the study were aroused to some degree.
Similarly, there are lots of hetero ladies who have gone ahead and actually taken a dip in the lady pond. In a survey by the National Health Statistics Report, 12.6 percent of heterosexual women admit they've experienced sexual contact with another woman before.
There's absolutely nothing strange or abnormal about having feelings for women, despite enjoying the peen. But, how exactly do you execute that first encounter? Here are some tips for how to please a woman down under.
1. Find Out What She Likes
The awesome thing about going down on a girl for the first time is that you both have the same lady parts. So if you're unsure of what she likes or how she likes it, you can do a bit of show and tell, says certified clinical sexologist Dawn Michael, Ph.D.
"Don't be afraid to ask her to show you what she likes," she says. "It is always helpful to have information because our bodies react differently to sensations."
2. Be a Tease
Remember, this isn't hetero sex, so you don't need to go right to the vag the way a penis does. "Start by teasing her by touching her thighs and working inward to build anticipation," says Michael.
When you finally get to oral, circle the area around her clitoris with your tongue, she says. Going directly for the c-spot doesn't allow for the tension to build in the body.
3. Slow Down
It's a safe bet that taking off a woman's pants is going to make you nervous. But those nerves are guaranteed to kill the vibe, says sex and relationship expert Jessica O'Reilly, Ph.D. "Don't go in for the kill from the beginning," she says.
"When you're excited or anxious, you move more aggressively than you realize," she says. "So cut your speed in half." Slow your roll by using the backs of your fingers, breath, and lips to touch her. Hold off on the sucking, licking or grinding in the beginning, she says.
4. Focus on the Outside
P and V sex usually focuses on moving things in and out of your vagina, obvi. So it might seem like a good idea to use your tongue to do the same movement. But, O'Reilly says focusing on the goodies outside the vag will make your lady most aroused.
"Contrary to what you see in porn, most women aren't aching for a finger-banging session when you climb between their legs," says O'Reilly. "Instead, try gently tracing the tip of your tongue around her lips and breathing some warm air over the wet area you've created," she says. Not only is this more surprising, but it stimulates the clit with airflow from your mouth.
5. Use Lube
Just because you're going down on a woman doesn't mean your hands are off limits. According to O'Reilly, the secrets to good oral sex are a few strategic finger strokes—and lube. (May we recommend this organic lube from the Women's Health Boutique?)
"You can recreate the sensation of multiple tongues by using a finger and two drops of lube to lick in rhythm with your tongue," she says. "She won't know what hit her!"