You know what that means:Â amazingÂ orgasms.
If you have a difficultÂ time reaching orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone, it’s nothing you or your partner should feel bad about. In fact, it’s totally normal. “People are still buying into this myth that orgasms through penetration are better in some way,” says San Francisco—areaÂ sexologist and relationship coach Claudia Six, PhD, author of Erotic Integrity: How to Be True to Yourself Sexually. “But the truth is that intercourse is not designed to trigger orgasms or produce significant stimulation for women.”
That’s why “99.99% of women” need attention paid to their clitoris–theÂ nerve-dense organÂ with an extremely sensitive head nestled between the labia–in order to climax, says Six. There’s only one problem: Not all sex positions triggerÂ a lot of clitoral stimulation on their own, or make it easy for either partner to provideÂ hands-on help.
Luckily, the following moves really do hit the spot, and adding them to your repertoire can make sex more orgasmic for all parties involved. “The clitoris is the only body part designed purely for pleasure,” says Six, “so I say make the most of it!”
Sit on the edge of the bed and lie back, then have your partner stand between your legs, facing you; he can hold your legs or prop them on his shoulders. “This position is great because you can make eye contact with each other, and there are two to four hands available–yours and possibly his–to stimulate the clitoris without interfering with anything else going on,” says Six. “It’s also great for people who are older, overweight, or injured, since everyone is supporting their own weight.”
Tabletop is also a perfect position for using a vibrator during sex, if you want a little extra clitoral stimulation. “In some other positions, you can really only use a small vibrator or none at all,” Six says. “But in tabletop, even if you want to pull out your full-size Magic Wand, there’s room for it.”
Lie on your stomach with a toy or a hand reaching down to your clitoris. Have yourÂ partner enter youÂ from behind without putting too much weight against your body, so you're free to use your fingers, recommends Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, a Toronto-based sexologist and host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. Unlike missionary sex, this position allows you to adjust and focus pressure on your clitoral area, which can help send you over the edge.Â
CAT (Coital Alignment Technique)
Clitoral stimulation during missionary position isn’t impossible, however–it just takes a little adjustment. Once he's on top of you, “slide yourself down a little so you can grind against your partner’s pubic mound, and squeeze your legs together,” says O’Reilly. You can also wrap your feet around his calvesÂ and focus on rocking and rubbing against each other, rather than thrusting.
Six also recommends having your partner enter you from behind while spooning you. “It’s another position where there’s plenty of access to the clitoris, where either you can reach down or your partner can reach around,” she says. Bend your top leg and open your legs to allow for more manual stimulation. It may also feel good to squeeze your legs together while he’s inside you.
“This is the ideal position for women who love full-clitoral contact,” says O’Reilly. Use your partner'sÂ thigh as a grinding pole and rub your entire clitoral area against him.Â To execute this surefire orgasm inducer, you and your partner both lie on your sides facing each other, your heads at opposite ends of the bed. Scissor his upper leg between yours, and roll slightly onto your back. “He pumps inside of her as she grinds her vulva against his thigh for clitoral stimulation,” O’Reilly says.