This article was written by Miya Yamanouchi and provided by our partners at YourTango.
You might think that vanilla sex is totally your style, but you might be way off. Even if you don't consider yourself a whips-and-chains kind of lady, there are several indications that you might actually enjoy the kinky stuff. Behold:
Signs You're Kind of Kinky
If you've ever done any of the following during a sexual encounter or had them done to you, you might be a little freakier than you thought.
1. Pulled your partner's hair
2. Slapped or smacked your lover on the butt
3. Bitten your lover's neck or other body parts
4. Played roughly or aggressively in bed
5. Used force or domination
6. Played out a fantasy involving a specific role or scenario
7. Placed your hands around your partner's neck
8. Blindfolded your lover
9. Physically restrained your partner
10. Tied up your lover
11. Performed degrading acts to your partner
12. Commanded your partner to perform a humiliating act on you
13. Instructed your partner to perform sexual acts on you
14. Called your lover degrading or humiliating names
If any of these look familiar, you've already ventured into the wonderful world of kink or BDSM. Get the details on what the hell BDSM means and how you can incorporate it into your sex life.
Bondage and Discipline
The "B" and "D" in BDSM are all about using restraints in order to heighten sexual pleasure and issuing instructions, rules, or punishments to control or reward behavior within the context of sex. Good to know, right?
Bondage can mean pinning a partner's hands behind their back in order to restrict their movement or slipping on a pair of pink, fluffy handcuffs. Discipline involves physical punishment by use of devices, such as leather whips, as well as psychological punishment. Things like forbidding an orgasm, denying sex, or having to perform sexual or nonsexual acts fall under this category.
Sadism and Masochism
Fact: The term originated from the names of two European writers Marquis de Sade (sadism) and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (masochism), who documented how sexual pleasure could be discovered in the giving and receiving of pain as a form of sexual expression. In other words, these are the dudes you should thank for 50 Shades.
In films (and Rihanna songs) S and M are depicted using whips, chains, paddles, canes, belts, and even hot candle wax. Ouch! It also includes physical markings of the session, like love bites, bruises, and welts. If you enjoy rough sex or a just a little of pain, this style of play can be fun to integrate into role-playing. Otherwise, you could just use it in addition to your usual sexual repertoire.
Domination and Submission
If you've ever acted out a sexual fantasy where one partner plays a powerful role and the other a submissive one, you've actually done some domination and submission play. Of the three concepts within the umbrella term of BDSM, domination and submission is the most emotional. In fact, some couples that enjoy it never physically interact with each other. Instead, they play out their dynamic via phone or Skype, chat, email, or other online platforms. (Consider this if you're in an LDR.) To go even further with this kind of kink, play out roles like high-class escort and client or naughty student and professor.
No matter what kind of kink turns you on, make sure both partners consent and agree on the level of intensity before getting down.