13 Thoughts That Go Through Every Woman's Head During a One-Night Stand

Nothing encapsulates both the freedom and horror of being single quite like a one-night stand. When you don’t know where the night will take you, sometimes the answer is a studio apartment with a futon owned by that one hottie with a beard who happened to be in line behind you at the bar. As you get your thang on with a random person, your brain is along for the ride, providing valid (but often ignored) commentary.

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1. Is his name Darren or Derek? Or David? Sh*t.

2. I wonder if he’ll notice if I sneak off to the bathroom to trim my bikini line real quick.

3. I am. So glad. I’m not showering here.

4. I really hope I have a condom at the bottom of this giant purse...okay, phew.

5. I gotta start meeting guys at book clubs or something.

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6. Whoa. Those are some bucket list abs.

7. Can we just have sex before I have to ask about that action figure collection? Thanks.

8. Please tell me he doesn’t sleep on that pile of laundry.

9. I cannot wait to tell my friends about this.

10. Really, dude? Five cats?

11. Somehow, cosmically, my ex-boyfriend is going to find out about this and be jealous.

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12. Please let his penis be normal. Please let his penis be normal.

13. YAS! SEX!

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