Being perfect is seriously overrated. Without a few awkward mishaps and total fails, you'd be missing out on some valuable learning experiences. So we asked six experts to tell us what mistakes every woman is bound to make at least onceÃ¢â‚¬”and why that's actually kind of a good thing.
Hey, you wanted to help, and you totally thought she would pay you back. But once you make this financial faux pas, you'll realize the weight of it and also learn how to say no in the future, says money expert Liz Weston, author of The 10 Commandments of Money. Find out another money mistake you're probably making.
Just thinking about it is enough to invoke a panic attack, right? Not only does it teach you to double check everything (especially at work), but it also reminds you to keep anything negative or derogatory out of print, says Nicole Williams, LinkedIn's career expert. Because once something is out there, you can't always take it back.
This bedroom sin is a lesson in disguise. "You don't have to beat yourself up over it, but now your partner may think what they did last time was amazing, which can be a slippery slope," says sex expert Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First. But once you've realized that faking it doesn't lead to more orgasms, you'll realize that the alternative (communicating what really gets you off) is so much better. Learn how to stop having fake orgasms and start having real ones.
If you're stretching yourself too thin at work and in your personal life, you're eventually going to snap. The good news: Burning out helps you reassess your priorities and realize what's important, says Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., author of A Happy You. And sometimes it takes a small meltdown to realize when you're taking on too much. Here are three signs you might be headed for a burnout.
If you've ever gossiped and had it get back to that person, you know how awful this feels. But this major flub also comes with a vital lesson: "It's a great reminder not to get carried away with gossip," says Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., author of The Friendship Fix. "It teaches you empathy and reminds you to be more mindful in the future."
With after-work happy hours becoming the new overtime, heading to the office with a serious hangover is something that will probably happen to you at least once. But after you realize how tired, cranky, and unproductive you are, you'll likely learn to stick to a two-drink maximum on weeknights, says Williams. Not convinced? Check out what really happens to your body during a hangover.
It's almost inevitableÃ¢â‚¬”you get so love drunk that you kind of forget about everyone else. It's unfair to blow off your friends for a relationship, says Bonior, but it's also a crucial learning experience. "Eventually you're going to realize just how much you gave up and how you were acting a little self-centered," says Bonior. And the good news: You probably won't do it again.
Who hasn't kept a gig simply because they didn't have the time or resources to look for another one? It can leave you drained, frustrated, and unmotivated, but it can also help you out later in your career. "In making this mistake once, you're not only more discerning when selecting your next opportunity, but also more likely to have a sense of the warning signs so you can get out if it's not right," says Williams. Learn the top thing you should be looking for in a job.
Let's just hope it wasn't a job interview. This classic blunder will happen to pretty much everyone eventually, says Bonior, whether you're overdressed for a dinner party or way too casual for a cocktail party. Either way, it's a great way to learn that sometimes you can make a silly mistake and just own it, says Bonior. Because killer confidence is going to get you noticed, no matter what you're wearing. And chances are, you'll remember to ask about the dress code next time. Here are five more tips to make an amazing first impression.
There are times when you suddenly realize your pants are fitting tighter, or you just haven't been feeling as lively and healthy as you would like. That doesn't mean you're now stuck at this new weight or lifestyle, says Lombardo. "This allows you to look at what's going on and figure out how you can change it." Like reassessing your portion sizes, cutting back on happy hours, or getting back to the gym. Learn five easy ways to start losing weight now.
Maybe it was a one-night stand in college or rebound sex after you and your ex broke up. Either way, sex that leaves you feeling empty or guilty isn't something you should spend time beating yourself up about, says Kerner. But it is important to check in with yourself afterward to see how you feelÃ¢â‚¬”and figure out how you might want to behave differently in the future, if what you're feeling is unhappy, guilty, or emotionally (or physically!) unsatisfied. Kerner recommends this healthy way to reframe your attitude: "It's important to have fun, and you can use it as a rehearsal space for communicating about sex and finding out what you like and don't like." Some call it a mistake, others just call it a learning curve.
Whether it's splitting the bill evenly when you only had a salad or pitching in for your friend's extravagant bachelorette party, this is a mistake that you and your wallet will definitely feel. Obviously the etiquette here varies depending on the situation, but eventually you'll learn when to suck it up and when to draw the line, which is a really important skill to hone, says Weston. Check out the other surprising way your friends could be costing you money.
Sure, he kissed his coworker at the company holiday party just a few months after he made out with his old high school flingÃ¢â‚¬Â¦but he swears he loves you and it won't happen againÃ¢â‚¬”so you should give him another shot, right? Ugh. Hey, we've all been there, and we've seen how this one plays out. But even if you end up burned, it'll help you realize what you want and what you won't stand for later on. "Ignoring red flags and feeling the pain of that encourages higher standards in the future," says relationship expert Michele O'Mara, Ph.D. Eventually, you'll get better at spotting those bad signs. Here's one relationship red flag you should definitely watch out for.