12 Sex Gifts That'll Make Every Other Gift Look Like Garbage

If you're at a loss for what to get that special someone, why not get them the type of sex you have a feeling they've been praying for all year long? While obviously you should only do things in bed that you also want to do, you can still spice things up in a way you'll both be happy with. Here are some ideas to get you started.

~*For Your Girlfriend*~

1. For your girlfriend who hates being on top. Just go down on her for like, an hour. This is secretly all she wants!

2. For your girlfriend who never orgasms from penetrative stuff alone. Buy her one of these incredible new clitoral vibrators and bust it out before she even has to go fumbling over to her bedside table drawer.

3. For your adventurous girlfriend who would have sex with you while parasailing if she could. Try having sex in a room in your house you've never done it in before. Kitchen table? Sure. Bathroom floor? Why not? Oh, because no one's cleaned it in two weeks and it's disgusting? Good point. Kitchen table it is.

4. For your shy girlfriend who will never tell you what she really wants. Let her tie you up and blindfold you. This way she has all the power to do whatever it is she secretly dreams of doing in bed. Beware, this can often turn women into people who enjoy having sex with you so much they'll want to do it all the time. I know, I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do to stop that.

5. For your chatty girlfriend who is like a human sex noise megaphone. If you're a quiet person with a loud-in-bed girlfriend, try saying a few dirty things to her in bed or at least moan a little bit. A quiet partner who finally starts to moan even a little bit in bed is like 12 Rolex watches to a loudmouth girl.

6. For your girlfriend who can only come in doggy-style, even though it sometimes gets boring for you. Have sex with her for six hours, in doggy-style position, over and over again, selflessly. Plus, how much of a sacrifice is it? You're both coming and it's a present. Your teenage self would kill for this.

~*For Your Boyfriend*~

1. For your shy boyfriend who you have a feeling is secretly a super freak. Shy guys sometimes have a hard time saying what they really want because they don't want to scare you or have you think that if you don't do it, they'll be mad. Have him show you the porn he's into and ask him to point out what he likes. Don't freak out if it's some scary nightmare stuff, but if you can find some things in there you'd be into doing, initiating that with him in bed will make him happier than all the Star Wars premieres combined.

2. For your boyfriend with a roleplay fantasy. Walk into any sexy store. Tell him he has a budget he has to stick to, but that he can buy you anything to wear in the store and you'll put it on tonight, no questions asked.

3. For your kinky boyfriend who spanks you sometimes just to see if you're into it. If you always get the feeling that he'd like to be a little rougher, grab a safe word and a silk scarf and have him tie you up. Obviously, make sure you guys talk about how far you want to go beforehand so he doesn't turn into some power-crazed madman and you have to bring him down to earth again via a series of spiritual rituals. But you know, ideally that won't happen and he'll just let his kink flag fly.

4. For your ass-obsessed boyfriend who can't stop bookmarking Nicki Minaj videos. Buy him a little leather flogger he can spank you with while you have doggy-style sex. It's lightweight enough that it's not as intense as a paddle and honestly he'll just be so hyped to get to spend up close and personal time with your real-time butt-filled music video that the flogger is just icing on the butt cake.

5. For your boob-obsessed boyfriend who would touch them nonstop if you were cool with it. If you've ever been on top of him and felt weird about your breasts flying all over the place, let me tell you, he would gladly hold them for you if you asked. He would hold them for you in public places if you'd let him, so why not in bed? Get on top of him and have him play with your nipples and do anything else he's always wanted to do while you ride him. If nipple clamps are your thing, sure! Add those too. Either way, if you specifically mention that he has a free pass to pay more attention to your tits, his eyes will light up like a Christmas tree made entirely of boobs.

6. For your boyfriend who just casually mentioned he might like to try butt play at some point. If he has subtly hinted that he'd be into doing some butt stuff with you, get a butt plug. Butt plugs are great for men and women, so if he wants something in his butt, put something in there, girl! And if he wants to have sex in your butt and you're not sure about that yet, try a butt plug and see how that feels. Honestly, you both should try this anyway just to say you did. 'Tis the season for butt play, as all the carols say.

This post was originally published in 2015 and has been updated.

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