10 Rules About Stealing Your Boyfriend’s Pajamas

This is the time of year when girlfriends and boyfriends everywhere dig through their partner’s drawers for their warmest flannel pajamas. Most guys think it’s adorable, but there are rules here. You can’t just walk into his room, take everything that looks comfortable and leave. Even though we know you will anyway.

1. DO NOT take his favorite pajamas. Those are his favorites for a reason. If he gives them to you, that’s fine. That’s a wonderful and beautiful gesture. But don’t leave a man high and dry without his comfiest winter jammies. That’s fucked up.

2. If he lends them to you, you’re (probably) allowed to keep them. There is a clause to this rule, and this needs to be pointed out, because the caveat here is incredibly subtle: if he specifically says “but you can’t keep them,” then don’t keep them. If he is allowing you to borrow pajamas but feels it is worth mentioning that they must be returned to him, he’s telling you that for a reason.

3. Don’t ruin them. They’re a sacred gift. Don’t spill stuff on them, don’t light them on fire, etc.

4. It’s less cute once you live together. Taking some of his pajamas or an old hoodie to sleep in when you’re alone in your bed because you miss him… that’s adorable. When you live together, you’re just pillaging his sleepwear.

5. Give them back if you break up. If you don’t, this man will be afraid to ever find love again. Not because he’s worried to get his heart broken, but because he’s worried that every time he tries, he’ll give more and more of his pajamas away.

6. Don’t take more than three articles of clothing. At a certain point, this becomes plundering this poor guy’s dresser for clothes. Most dudes aren’t going to have more than five (maybe… MAYBE… seven) pairs of pajamas. You’ve just left this man with half the pajamas he had previously available otherwise.

7. These rules do not apply to old shirts he doesn’t care about. He’s likely got a drawer stuffed with old shirts. Some of these might be his favorite concert tees or an old standby with some holes. Others are free shirts he got for signing up for a bank account in college and he just didn’t throw away. That shirt is yours if you want it for some reason. Don’t even worry about it. Take as many of those shirts as you like.

8.Don’t take anything he might need for work the next day. Sure, wearing one of his button-downs to bed is sexy, but what’s less sexy is when he’s scrambling for work in the morning and realizes you’re sleeping in his last clean blue oxford and nothing else matches his suit. Don’t leave him high and dry.

9. Robes are virtually always off-limits as take home items. Most guys only own one or two robes. If he owns like, nine robes he’s either rich (in which case he can afford more robes) or has really weird priorities.

10. You can’t put on warm pajamas and then kick his covers off the bed. If you’re overheated, take the pajamas you borrowed off. Otherwise he's just shivering on his cold, naked mattress. Don't be this way.

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