Who knows if it was Miley CyrusÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s twerking at the MTV Video Music Awards or Liam HemsworthÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s rumored relationship with January Jones, but Miley and Liam are O-V-E-R.
This particular split isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t that surprisingÃ¢â‚¬”Miley and Liam had reportedly been having problems for months, and she even unfollowed him on Twitter a few days prior to the announcement. But still, it begs the question: What would it be like to think youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re going to spend the rest of your life with someoneÃ¢â‚¬”and then realize you have to end things with them?
Shelby Ryan (not her real name)Ã‚Â knows all too well: She ended a one-year engagement when she was 27. Here, she shares her story:
Ã¢â‚¬Å“I met Josh at the nightclub where I worked. I was so attracted to his confidence and bad-boy attitude that a month after our first date, we moved in together.
We had been living together for four years when, on a weeklong trip to the Catskills in upstate New York, he proposed. I had just been getting ready for dinner, and when I walked out of the bathroom, he was on his knee and popped the question. After so many years of dating, I kind of knew this was coming. Plus, my mom had told me that heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d called her, asking which ring styles I might like. I was so happyÃ¢â‚¬Â¦for the first three months.
After that, my fiancÃƒÂ© changed. He would always have his buddies over to drink and hang out. It wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t like they were all-out partying, but it wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t what I wanted to come home to after an exhausting day at work. Then, one night after we went out with friends and had returned home, Josh decided to go back out, leaving me alone. When he didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t come home that night, I called my twin sister and told her I was done with the relationship.
Josh finally called me around 3 p.m. the following afternoonÃ¢â‚¬”I was in New Jersey visiting my sister, but he was just getting home from the bars. I told him over the phone that I couldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t go through with the wedding, and he was shocked. When I went back to the apartment to get my stuff, he begged me to stay. He admitted that he felt rushed and pressured by the wedding, but he also said that part of the reason he had proposed to me was so that he wouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t lose me.
I told him I wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t leaving him for anybody else but that IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d just fallen out of love. We both cried, but at that point, I had made up my mind, so I wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t nearly as emotional as he was. Breaking up with a fiancÃƒÂ© isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t so different from ending a relationship with a serious boyfriend, actuallyÃ¢â‚¬”both are really hard and emotionally exhausting. My mother had given him her diamond, which I obviously kept, although I gave him the setting heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d bought for the ring.
I was worried about how my family would react, but if anything, they seemed relieved. Deep down, theyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d known that Josh wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t the guy for me, and my sister even said that he was a loser compared to me. My bridesmaids were probably the most surprised and upsetÃ¢â‚¬”they had just bought bridesmaids dresses, after all, and now couldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t even wear them once!
Thankfully, my mom offered to cancel all of the arrangements weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d made so I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have to go through that. WeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d already paid for everything, though, and we got nothing back. But money is just a material thing, so I moved on.
IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m so thankful that I made this decision. Josh was bringing me down physically and emotionally. I used to be a part-time hostess at a nightclub and a full-time sales manager in the media industry. I was struggling to make ends meet, but now, I can support myself just by being a sales manager for a big media company. I wouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t be where I am in my career if IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d stayed with Josh. Not to mention, I met a great guy a couple of months after the breakupÃ¢â‚¬”and heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s now my husband.Ã¢â‚¬Â
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